Esc+Ctrl

Time Waits for No Man...

2007-11-26T22:15:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a year since I last blogged... and I guess the the past 10 months could possibly be the most dramatic period of my life.

Been through quite a lot.. Been to places I have never thought of going.. Done things I have never thought of doing.. Experienced what I thought only exist in dreams.. Went through episodes that I thought can only exist in dramas. It’s one hell of a journey, and like what one of my closest buddies always reiterate, it’s part of the journey in our lives where there’ll be no turning back.

And with the passing of the 5 spirited youths that took pride in bearing our national emblem, their sudden departure really brought home the point that time waits for no man, and made me take a second look at what I have accomplished in life thus far.

The articles, reports, friendster comments and blogs were all veiled in the same tinge of sadness, at the loss of individuals who proved to be a source of great inspiration to many others, despite the fact that they are all around my age, with a few even notably younger. The talents they displayed, the personal accomplishments they made, the great friendship they forged and the many lives they touched all left an ever-lasting impression in those around them, though they may physically be gone.

It left me thinking, of the many things in life I have yet to see, yet to try, yet to do, yet to accomplish. And how though some of them may be younger then me, they have already accomplished so much in life and left such a legacy in the many lives they have touched with theirs.

It is as if I have lived my 24 years of life pretty much in vain and accomplished little of what one is truly capable of. It’s time I set out to do the things in life that one day, when my time has come, will leave many others inspired; and time for me to touch lives like the way Reuben and his friends did.

May their spirits rest in peace that they truly deserve… for they have worked hard in their lives.

Time for me to embark on my own race…

A whole Lot of Nothing...

2007-01-18T00:35:00.000+08:00

Nothing much actually.... random stuff.. if it is actually worth ur time. lol~

| View Show | Create Your Own | Playlist

crap

2006-12-13T02:14:00.000+08:00

He's a freak... so am I

2006-08-02T22:26:00.000+08:00

Okay... here's the freak I created, bald and all.

I know, I know, he looks kinda freaky.. but hey, dat's cos he takes after me.. ha~

Never figured out where the previous post went where he's supposed to reside in le. Well, so here's the repost of the One Animation.

And by the way, I need critiques. Thanks.

Royston's Shorts

2006-07-19T03:37:00.000+08:00

One of Royston's shorts - Cut.

Great short.

When Everything's made to be broken.

2006-07-06T03:11:00.000+08:00

I fell in love with a Saint…

and quickly plummeted out of it.

I hate the fall.

Think before u act

2006-06-17T14:45:00.000+08:00

Heard from friends of a case of happy-slapping taking place right here in the heartlands of Singapore.. Saw the video too on a hp, which was expectedly being circulated around like wild fire via Bluetooth, msn etc.

I found the video extremely disturbing, as such an act of gross outrage of modesty and lack of respect to another fellow human being can actually be portrayed to be a fun and enjoyable activity to the perpetrators in the video. To the girls in the video carrying out the deed, I hope that you will get your retribution soon, since what goes around comes around. If building your perverse joy on the pain of others gives you great satisfaction, I just feel that you girls are really sick. And I�m very sure many others share my sentiments. Most that I saw the clip with commented on perverse nature of the incident, and expressed their hopes that the perpetrators get their rightful punishment in the eyes of the law for their intolerable behavior.

But I do have another point to make.

While the general public should voice out their views and concern regarding the issue, I do think the passing on of the video should be kept to the minimum. If the girls involved, after being influenced by media from the west (happy-slapping originates from the west), find it fun and hip to produce such a clip; surely the passing on of the clip will seem to them like a morale booster. It�ll give them the wrong message that people actually want to see such videos, hence the spreading of the clip at such a alarming rate. This may even spur them on to produce more of such videos!

When there is no demand, there will not be a supply. So by asking your friends to send you that very clip, you are in a way encouraging the perpetrators in their perverse criminal act, no?

Food for thought.

Ramblings

2006-06-15T00:48:00.000+08:00

Gramps� finally able to eat!

Happy silly.. :)

It�s just past a month.. and I feel like eons have passed.

Things are still overwhelming me.. and I�m still learning to accept things.. and dealing with all the changes life is throwing at me.

Will blog in detail more.. when I have the time & mood to do so.

Meanwhile, take care my dear friends.

mundane : muttering

2006-06-07T02:53:00.000+08:00

Today is the 6^th June 2006.. which is 6/6/06. Sounds kinda Satanic.

Anyway, I think I�m really gonna enjoy my school life! Everyone in class seems fairly friendly and helpful so far, which is really great.

Was shown a couple of great 3D animation clips� and this one stuck with me.

I guess the dark humor is amazingly effective in exploring the issues of conditioned conformity to accepted social norm.. which is something me and Jinsen discussed in the development of the script for my intended final year project (FYP) for audio-visual production (AVP).

Like it guys? Do drop a few comments in my tagboard leh.. it�s kinda unused. Ha~ =P

That Leap of Faith

2006-06-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

Life hasn�t been too kind to me lately.

With the coming of the 23rd year of my miserable existence here in this world, things around me take on devastating changes�

I guess the immense fear for the unknown that dwells deep within each and every one of us reaches its peak whenever we�re thrown right smack in the middle of the many crossroads of our lives. Right now, it is where I am. Right in the middle of the most complicated crossroad ever.

Uncertainty looms over numerous aspects of my life.

I�m lost and overwhelmed, not knowing where each step will lead me.

But that�s just life.

Sure, I am at one of the lowest points in my life. But I will survive� somehow.

I mean, that�s how it�s always been� for the last 23 years at least.

A much treasured friend of almost a decade, (I sure am making her sound old) told me that when one is at the lowest point in his life, the only way out is up.

I like that, really.

So I shall wait in anticipation.. to take that leap of faith.

______________________________________________

On a lighter note, there are a few interesting people that have walked into my life, lowest point or not. They gave me something to keep my mind off things� which is refreshing for a change.

Modeling pals here in a group photo with award-winning photographer, Jack Hollingsworth @ Redchopsticks.com's Studio

Jasmine and me @ Ben's Nudie Jeans show at Mox.

Me, Ben & Jas in a tight group shot. Ha~ Do I look drunk?

And the cycles continues...

2006-05-28T11:17:00.000+08:00

Reading an earlier post, I guess there's really nothing more apt den re-posting that 1 post.

Times did go by.. things did change. But emotionally, I'm back to the wreck I was.

Once again, I was deluded by things on the surface.. and before I can set things right, things have escalated way beyond control.. way out of reach.

I hate the fall.

_____________________________________________

And the rain poured again.

I hate it when it rains� seriously. Somehow, the worst of emotions come in torrents when the rain is at its heaviest. All the negative thoughts and emotions just seem to overwhelm me whenever it rains, leaving me downright drenched.

I guess it has finally come to this.

Just like the heavy rain shrouding the world in a hazy grey veil, all that was once fair and glad has finally come to pass, shrouded in the hazy veil of time� All that is left is but a vague and distant memory, of the wonderful world and the happy times behind those oppressing grey veils.

I know this is kind of weird, but sometimes I wish those happy times never existed. At least I won�t be as forlorn as I am now� at least I won�t be here reminiscing the past which I know will never come back. At least there will always be happier times to look forward to�

If only the Memory-erasing Procedure in Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind really existed. I will be first in line to try.

At the very least, all things start afresh.

"Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

But we all know, this can never be so.
Face it.

Suggested reading: Forget Me Lots by Melissa Maerz

It's time I announce to the world...

2006-05-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

Okie guys.. this blog has been way too quiet. Haha~

Haven�t really been updating u guys on how�s things. And so, I guess it�s time for me to inject some.. I dunnoe, visual stimulants? Haha!

I know there has been quite an extended period of silence in this blog.. reason being that of a new addition to my otherwise, dull and uninteresting life.

And so� here�s the reason for me being happy silly� the reason why I have been so occupied for the previous months.. the reason why some of you have nudged and winked at me via msn but to no avail.

My new found love..

The object of my desire�

The one that is in my daily thoughts�

from the moment I wake up�

till I close my eyes�

The one that I have toiled so hard for�.

�

�.

�

�.

�

�.

�

(I swear you are scrolling damn fast now..)

�

�.

�

�.

�

(Dying to find out who it is right?)

�

�.

�

K lar. Nah.

Just what were YOU thinking??? =P

Just For Laughs! ;)

2006-04-26T10:49:00.000+08:00

Haha~ Posts henceforth should definitely be a far cry from some of the previous awfully depressing ones. Hope this will last long!!

Happy silly for now.. Hee~!! *Grinz* =D

Hmm.. dire consequences of over-doing the 'less is more' concept.

Definitely a sign with a local flavour. Kudos!!

Ermm.. not my cup of tea. 'Nuff said.

That Nudging Feeling...

2006-04-05T00:58:00.000+08:00

An issue that I want to leave for the moment nudged me again from the back of my mind

I know I have many reasons to give up on all hopes with regards to the issue that I speak of, but somehow, I just can�t do it.

��

An excerpt from Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers..

Frodo: I can't do this Sam.

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding on to Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

��

What am I holding on to?

I�m holding on to that glimmer of hope.. that the darkness will pass� and the sun will shine out the clearer once again.. just like it used to; and that in time to come, we can all look back and laugh about things� as friends often do.

The heaviness on my shoulders as I dragged my feet along.

2006-01-22T01:08:00.000+08:00

This week sees me burying myself behind piles and piles of work in camp. I kept myself extremely busy, taking on tasks and work that I could have easily steered clear from. In a way, I thought by keeping myself preoccupied with multiple tasks at hand, I can somehow keep certain negative and depressing thoughts at bay.

I�m not sure if I succeeded, but at least I dun feel as down as when I was left alone to face the emptiness that resonates from deep within. It�s as if each time when I am on my own, I can sense this heavy, sinking feeling from deep within� as if the world that�s beneath my feet had disappeared and I�m left suspended� albeit in an slow, eternal descend.

List of tasks that I had taken on� which most will shun from:

Composition of drum solo for CNY Changing of Guards

Designing of SAF Bands Drum Major Mace

Attaching out to take photos of the Merdeka Lions for said Mace

�Maceworks� WITS project

Corporate video for SAF Bands

Must say it has been quite a week� accomplish quite a lot.. Must say some tasks, which I expected to be pretty simple, turned out to be extremely torturous. Like being stranded in SAFTI MI for a whole 4+ hours with nothing constructive to do whatsoever; or coming up with a drum solo with piccolo parts. Thanks to Benji and Chenguo for the help they have rendered me� though I have still yet to finish it.

Friday was ORD function. It kinda sound the alarm for the impending departure of many individuals. Surely life in Bands will not be the same with their departure.

????????; ???????.

Well, things come and go. Guess we just have to move on... somehow. Even though nothing will ever be the same again; no matter how much we may miss the past.

This is very much a lousy entry� just like my life now. So very dull and uninteresting

What the heck. Who cares?
No one.

The rain mercilessly pours on.

2006-01-15T18:11:00.000+08:00

"Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

But we all know, this can never be so.
Face it.

Suggested reading: Forget Me Lots by Melissa Maerz

The day I stood in the pouring rain...

2006-01-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

These days, sudden downpours and non-stop drizzles ruled my life. I feel drenched and soaked thoroughly� leaving me just cold, wet and numb, and extremely miserable all over.

My oh my, why the sudden overwhelming of emotions here, on a blog that I thot was pretty impersonal?? I don�t know why. Maybe I just feel like letting out some pent up frustrations� just letting go� like the heavy dark clouds letting go of all the rain� and maybe, the skies will clear, and the sun will finally shine once again.

I seriously need something happy to look forward to, although I always though happiness is but a fleeting feeling. It comes once in a while, but usually it won�t last long. That�s why I cherish each happy moment I have, for I know they are hard to come by, and the loathsome misery that is to transverse that �happy feeling� is always quick to follow. Haiz...

�The mountains will not be half as breath-taking as it is, without the valleys to transverse it.� - Anonymous

Currently, each day is like a slow march towards something foreboding and totally not worth looking forward to. I don�t know what this is.. but I guess, maybe it can quite easily be defined as, �the unknown�.

Everyone is afraid of the unknown. No one likes to be lost in something where they have absolutely no control over. It�s like being thrown into the wide expanse of the ocean� to be left adrift and not knowing what you heading into. The irksome feeling of the unknown and the uncertainty of what lies ahead, it just sux. Period. It leaves too much room for imagination. And that is definitely something unpleasant for someone like me, someone driven by imagination according to the Inkblot Test. I think I�m quite a pessimist.

But frankly speaking, time and again, we are the ones who put ourselves in that predicament. We chose, out of the options made available to us, one that we know may result in misery; one that is full of unknowns. And more often or not, we�re indeed left miserable. No surprises here. But why do we still choose that option over other more obvious ones; ones that we know we most probably will not be left feeling as down and out?

I guess, the answer is simply for that one chance, no matter how slim; the chance of the rainbow after the rain, the sunshine after the storm. It is enough for one to brave the storms, and stand steadfast and unwavering in the pouring rain, or in the face of any adversity for that matter. At least that�s what I hope to think it is, that the rain will pass, and the skies will clear� and the days of joy long forgone will be back yet again, to bring a smile upon my face. One that radiates from deep within, and not the pseudo one that I wear daily to hide all troubles away.

I really wish that the day will be here� soon.

Current playlist: Bad Day by Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Inkblot Test

2005-12-29T21:55:00.000+08:00

What is a blog without its occasional dosage of quizzes and tests? And so, I was bored� and I attempt yet another one of the many online tests available.

This one is from Tickle.com and the one I�ve chosen is Tickle's Original Inkblot Test.

After staring at splotches after splotches of myriad colours� I�ve finally answered all of the 56 required questions to get my test reading. I must say, these inkblots are seriously quite amazing.. I�m pretty sure all of us, at some point in time, had dabbled with pots of paint and dripped/splashed/smudged/spilled them onto folded papers to create some of our very own inkblots� but seriously� how many of us really stopped to admire these works of art? These inkblots can seriously evoke some powerful emotions!! Here�s some that really caught my eye when I did the test.

Does this seem foreboding to you??
Image from Tickle.com

This one is almost hilarious, don't you agree??
Image from Tickle.com

Anyway, here�s the result of my test:

Keith, your subconscious mind is driven most by

This means you have a deep desire to use innovative ideas to enhance your life and influence the world around you. This drive influences you far more than you may realize on a conscious level. Your need to be innovative drives how you look at new opportunities and the kinds of experiences in life you choose to have.

On an unconscious level, the reason you may be so driven by imagination is your fear of destruction, the opposite of creation. When you are unable to create due to restrictions imposed by your environment or even ones you unwittingly impose on yourself, do you feel trapped or confined? You may find these feelings of unease only get better when you find another outlet for your imagination.

With such a strong creative orientation, you are willing to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at any given time. The world is a fuller, richer place because you can contribute new ideas to any experience. Your natural curiosity inspires those around you and encourages them to come up with ideas they wouldn't have thought of without your help.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Imagination, there is much more to who you are at your core.

The rest will be the usual ploy of getting you to pay for a Thousand-paged, Professional, PhD-certified, In-depth, Detailed analysis and all the crap. Who the hell falls for them anyway??

What do you guys think of my test results?? Agree? Disagree? Doubtful?? Say leh.. dun paiseh. Tag me!

Anyway, you guys go give it a try� ha.. if you are as bored as me. =)

Retrospect

2005-12-29T15:03:00.000+08:00

Was kinda curious how I felt exactly one year ago� at this time of the year� with Christmas, New Year, and all the irksome festivities just round the corner. And so I clicked on my archives.. only to find this entry dated December 27, 2004. (Don�t bother reading it from my archives� cos somehow the character encoding went hay-wire. Probably happened when I changed my blog templates.)

Nonetheless, here�s the entry in all its former glory. It�s written in Chinese though, so please changed your character encoding to �Unicode�.

I recall that at that time when this entry was written, I have already graduated from Training Wing in SAF Bands� and was a wondering homeless spirit belonging to nowhere. For more details of my plight den, you can read up this entry.

The reason for my feelings den shouldn�t come as a surprise, given the circumstances I was in. But a year whizzed past, and come the time of the year again when all should be jolly, and yet I still can�t help but still feel the same ol� feelings of despondency, even though external factors may seem more favorable then before.

Maybe it�s just me. Maybe I just can�t seem to open up myself to all of those who are willing to keep me accompany. Maybe it�s really just me to be walking amidst a rowdy group of friends and yet, still feel very much alone. Or maybe, I�m still waiting for someone out there.. someone to fill the emptiness within me.

�Merry� Christmas...

2005-12-27T16:19:00.000+08:00

Alright, alright� Before I get stoned to death, I better post something.

A big thank you to you guys, for the rather overwhelming response to my pleas for tags. Haha~ ;) And so, it is the time of the year again� where everyone is supposed to be oh-so-jolly as they �immerse themselves in the festive spirit�. My foot, seriously...

Just out of curiosity, how many of you guys out there ACTUALLY feel extraordinarily jovial BECAUSE it�s Christmas? Seriously, I don�t know about you guys, but for me, I felt pretty darn lousy this Christmas... extraordinarily lousy.

I happened to be at Clarke Quay on Christmas Eve and Orchard on Christmas itself. Not wholly planned, I must emphasize. I just happened to be at the above-mentioned places. Had gatherings or meeting people that somehow ended up with me being there. And I must say the feeling kinda sux. Somehow, I dun feel happy or jovial or anything of that sort at all. But there�s just this nudging feeling of emptiness� like there�s a huge chunk of me that�s missing� so much so that I dun feel any Christmas spirit whatsoever.. and that really sucked. And no, I wasn�t alone. Though I feel very much so.

Someone asked me if anything happened to result in this sucky feeling, like something screwed up my Christmas or something... Frankly speaking, I think it�s more of because nothing happened, that resulted in me feeling the blues. It�s like, because it�s Christmas, you�ll be expecting to feel a little happier� and when you don�t feel it, everything just goes downhill from there.

To me, Christmas, Valentine�s and such are really way too commercialized. The only people I guess that�s truly happy are the bosses as they perched themselves behind their cash registers� thumbing the piles of money they�ve milked from the foolish people out there worshipping such festivities.

The way such festive occasions are marketed kinda resulted in what I call an �Emotional Multiplier.� People who are already pretty much happy with their lives are happier, and people who feel otherwise just feel suckier. That said, it�s obvious I belong to the latter. Have you seen a Christmas flyer that does not have smiling people??? I mean, take a look at the name, for Christ�s sake. MERRY Christmas. You are just SUPPOSED to be merry� somehow. But what if you don�t?

Maybe I should go back to attending City Harvest�s Christmas Celebrations in future.. Hmm�

The Hiatus

2005-12-18T17:48:00.000+08:00

The hiatus in my blogging is largely due to the fact that I do not seem to find any impetus to update, which is largely due to the fact that I feel like I�m talking to a wall each time I blog. Maybe a little more activity in the tag board helps??? (To all those closeted readers of my blog out there, take the bold step. Tag me!!)

Until then.. it�s goodbye for now. =P

Blogging Motives

2005-11-20T19:21:00.000+08:00

It�s been ages since I last updated. I wun go about the usual thick-skinned banter of how people might have missed my witty/clever/whimsical (ur list of cool adjectives here) entries.

To be frank, wasn�t really in the blogging mood for a long, long time.

Digression: Am currently typing out this entry in Microsoft Word with Blogger for Word plug-in. And I am greatly perturbed by the fact that words such as �blog�, �blogger�, �blogging� and the likes are not in the Microsoft dictionary yet!! How intriguing!! If they had recognized the growing influence, potential and impact that blogging has in today�s context, so much so that they even made a plug-in for it in order to stay relevant; isn�t it a slap in the face that words such as �blogs� are NOT in the dictionary that spell-check uses???

Ok, back to my entry. Not that I do not feel for anything for the past few month. Just that, the initial doubt about blogging is beginning to gnaw the back of my mind again.

To me, there�s basically there�s 2 schools of bloggers. One dat make use of the blogosphere to comment, critique and lament on issues of the �real world�, i.e. issues that we read about in the papers or hear on the news (read: terrorist attacks, tsunamis, what-have-you); or issues that will otherwise be left forlorn and forgotten by the mainstream media. (read: Issues like whether a handicapped toilet should be or could be used by the general public with no disabilities. Who in the right frame of mind will write to the forums on such issues??) In my humble opinion, the latter is the more constructive of the 2, spurring the blogosphere to think outta the box and bring attention to issues that will generally be overlooked. But nonetheless, the former also give rise to alternative views that will otherwise be censored or deem inappropriate in the �real world�, where there can NEVER be freedom of speech. Institutions and government bodies are �monitoring� and �drawing guidelines� to direct how people should blog already. What more to come? Why are they trying to claw at every single avenue where people can really speak their mind?? Are they trying to create another �Speakers� Corner�? (read: White elephant.) Speaking of which, they almost sued the witty fella who put up cute placards of white elephants around the unused Buangkok mrt station. Freedom of speech. WooT~! (Probably some SAF or MINDef personnel is reading every single character that I have posted now.)

Whether it is of issues of whatever nature, it takes great intellect, analytic skills and in-sight on issues for one to blog meaningful, thought-provoking entries� which largely translates to time consumed in killing brain cells, and churning out such gems of blogs. Which, sad to say, was not exactly the kind of thing I felt like doing.

The other school of bloggers treats a blog like an online virtual diary and post every bit of nitty-gritty details of their life, their thoughts, their daily encounters etc on it. TMI, IMHO. Most of the time, such blogs inevitably became a shrine or altar or watever where one makes full use to boast, brag and flaunt how successful one can get. That is for the super optimistic individuals� and on the other end of the scale, we see extreme pessimists lamenting on how sad, pathetic, forlorn, forgotten and lonely one can get blah blah blah. Not that I really care. For me, I have no wish to fall into any of such categories. Hence, my prolonged absence from the blogosphere..

But still, it is interesting to know that there ARE people who actually reads the kind of non sequitur rants and ramblings that I post here. And when suddenly, outta the blue, someone you least expect came up to you and said: �I read your blog.� Will you be left flabbergasted for a good 15 seconds like me, trying to recall what exactly did I post and what conclusion of me as a person will that person have of me, when he/she reads of the things I wrote without expecting them to be reading??? Did such thoughts ever cross your mind? That is also why I question the credibility of posts by the previously mentioned 2nd school of bloggers who blogs really personal and intimate content. Are the content really that credible, if the so-called �innermost thoughts� that you are posting is on a medium that you already know that ANYONE can be reading. Are you really dumb or you are just stupid?? Or is it that you think you are so ingenious that you can gain sympathy by painting this virtual impression that you are such an oh-so-poor-thing and manipulate people and spur their emotions to your advantage? Well, I seriously hope not, cos if you really thought so, den I seriously think YOU SHOULD JUST KILL YOURSELF. Na�ve. If you can think of it, chances are, people thought of it too and they know what you are doing. It is just that they did not wish to voice out or expose what you are doing.

Frankly speaking, having said so much, I seriously do not know what my motives for blogging are.. partly because, I dun even know who my audiences are, other than those that told me to shock me. That is probably the reason why I do not really update regularly. Maybe I just want a place where I can blog about the little things that made my day.. the bits of happy memories that I may have, which I know, will not last. So that I can try to convince myself that I do have quite a happy life. So that I can look back at these past entries and bring back some happy memories, and maybe a smile. But for now, I cannot find any such things to blog about.

But why do I want to do that in the first place? I have asked many of my friends this same question:

�If there is a day where you have to decide, whether to forgo all your happy memories, or all that is sad, which one will you let go?�

Almost all told me that they will willingly let go of all their sad memories, but I chose the latter. Reason being that I believe that humans are never satiable. If we already have happy memories to compare with, I will want more to bring me happiness. A simple curry puff which brought me great joy to me in the past no longer satisfies me. A simple gesture made by others that touched me greatly then might not have an effect on me now. Everyone yearn for something more that what they have already got. I guess it is not exactly a desirable trait, but I guess it is just a human nature that is in-borne and just not possible to eradicate.

Conversely, if I only have sad memories, yes, I will probably not be very happy initially, but at the very least, every small bit of the tangible and intangible stuff in life will delight me and bring me great joy.

What about you? What will you choose?

Maple Story - My way

2005-10-08T12:51:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. haven�t really had a proper update for quite some time le. Probably becos there�s not much worthy of updating anyway.

Been finally persuaded/ coaxed/ threatened/ coerced into playing maple Story with my bunkmates� Ha~ currently in the process of becoming a Magician! Hee.. and point to note is.. which decent Magician calls himself Ang ku kuey??? Bwahahaha~ I mean.. seriously, how lame is that?

Gandalf: Saruman, I need to introduce you to this fellow magician of wizardry of
ours.

Saruman: I�ll definitely be honoured! Who is he??

Gandalf: (Pushes forth Yours Truly) Here he is! He�s�.. Ang ku kuey!

Saruman: (Flabbergasted, hand over gapping mouth in embarrassment) Oh�. How
intriguing! Nice to meet you! (Shakes hand cordially)
(Walks over to Gandalf and whispered) I will certainly like some advance
notice the next time you bring someone over. Having a piece of his own
kind stuck between my teeth isn�t exactly very glam. (Picks teeth with
toothpick discreetly and hastily hides plate of Ang ku kuey)

And for those who into Mapl-ing, (yes.. it�s actually becoming a verb already), you will know of the party mode that one can get into� either to train others or to let others leech. Whichever you are happy with. And the hassle of having to toggle between the different modes of communication available. (Namely �To All�, �To Party�, �To Buddy� and �Whisper�) So Yours Truly came up with yet another ingenious way to save party members the hassle. SKYPE!!

Basically, Skype is yet another one of those great freebies that Internet users like us should really make full use of. It is just like the common MSN messenger.. with the exception that instead of having to type out messages to one another, the software uses real-time voice, much like a telephone! And it�s all free!!! Overseas call to someone using IDD or wat not? I say, Skype you! Just Skype!! Forget about those exorbitant phone bills!

And most importantly, you can connect multiple users in one conference call� and with Skype running in the background and Maple Story turned on... Viola!! Instant party talk!! And I do mean TALK. Who needs to type messages to party members in Maple now?? (Haha~ yet another of Keith�s marvelous and ingenious idea.) Imagine playing Maple and yelling to your comrades-in-arms in real time!! How cool is that??? It�s tried and tested, and proven to work!!!

K... just in case you are stupid enough to ask... you DO need a microphone that's connected to your PC.

Ok� you guys may not be convinced with the �yet another� part. Here�s to convince you.

Army guys out there must be most familiar with the scanning of 11bs at POS system at all cookhouses right? But what if you don�t feel like consuming your indented ration?? Or if you are on off and needs to get someone to �cover� your ration?? You ask others to scan your 11bs?? Yes? No?? (I see nodding heads�)

Well, the next time such a situation arise, think of Ingenious Keith!! (Not IK, the Inverse Kinetics shit in 3D animation�)

Anyway, here�s Keith�s wonderful solution.

Presenting�.

.
.
.
..
...
�.
�..
..�..

.Drumrolls�
��
�..
�
...
..
.
.
.

The MULTI-Scan Express!!

Basically, this is an all-in-one exclusive card that had multiple barcodes of the exclusive club�s members� NRIC on it. And with it, whoever needs help in getting his 11b scanned gets it fast and easy!! And just one person can finish scanning for all in 3 secs flat!! It�s proven, thanks to Jeffery. So, dun be bogged down with having to scan and consume your ration. Set yourself free!! Go for your offs! Apply for your own Multi-Scan Express* now!!

*Terms and Conditions applies
Multi-Scan Express does not come equipped with legs to walk itself to the cookhouse. You still need someone to do the dirty job.
The Ingenious Keith is not to be held responsible should you be stupid enough to blatantly show off the said card to the duty COS standing next to the POS system. Use it at your own risk. Any extras signed due to negligence on the part of the user is solely due to the user�s stupidity. And dun get stupid people to use the said card, for goodness sake!

K.. if you do have any talent in the fine art of Photoshop and the likes, you can stick to the ol' school method of photocopy-cut-paste . Just get the 11bs of whoever you want to include and photocopy their barcodes. Remember to label them.. unless you can recall all your friends' NRIC numbers.. And tada!!! Still equally usable.. though not as glam as what is shown above.

Now, where�s my standing ovation now????

On 'off' when you least expected to...

2005-10-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

Well, Blogger came up with a new Blogger for Word plug-in for Microsoft Word. Sounds pretty cool and I�m currently attempting to blog my very first entry straight from Microsoft Word 2002. Hope this really works!!

Also, came across this on my friend�s blog.. I know, I know, it�s cheesy, sounds totally gay.. but hey! I was bored k?? Wat to do on a Monday afternoon.. when you suddenly get thrown with an off in the face and have absolutely no way to spend it? !&$@#!! Why can�t they just give us our offs and let us spend it on days where we want to??? Irritating.. irksome� idiotic.

Crush Calculator !!!

Well, don�t click on it if you are not as bored as me then� though I thought the calculations are pretty disturbing� and fairly smart. :P Well, your choice.

I was bored...

2005-09-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

Originally intended to queue up overnight for a 20gb Creative Zen player.. gave up the idea after just 15min of research of its pros and cons.. and thus was bored enough to attempt this.

And here's my test results:

Keith Jiahong, your Super IQ score is 131

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you a Creative Theorist. This means you are a highly intelligent, complex person. You are able to process information of nearly every kind with ease, using both creativity and analysis to make sense of the world. Compared to others you also have a very rich imagination.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Creative Theorist? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Creative Theorist. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

Ok.. I noe how lame this is. But it's all in the name of boredom yah? NHFO.

Project Superstar afterthoughts

2005-09-04T02:37:00.000+08:00

I supported Junyang... right from the start of the competition, and till the very end. But he lost inevitably.

I foresee his unfortunate exit from the competition right from the moment when he mispitched his falsettos. During the next bar or so, his notes wavered together with his confidence, and I feel for him, for I have been through major flops in performances before. I still can vividly remember the immense feeling of regret when I screwed up a lead drum part at the most unexpected bars, and the torrential feeling of overwhelming guilt thereafter, for having let down the hordes of people that believed in me. And there was supposed to be a replay of the piece that went wrong for encore, but the plan was called off at the very last minute. Leaving me even more regretful having lost the chance to redeem myself by presenting the piece in its fullest glory. But I guess concerts are like competitions. There is only just one chance. And I guess Junyang lost his too.

Though the competition, Weilian, too din perform as well, Junyang was still ousted. Maybe there's just tad more of sympathy votes, though people always argue that his singing IS good, and that he deserves to win. But when 2 contestants are of equal standing in terms of musical accomplishment, surely the aspect that one is handicapped stands out more and gain more sympathy votes, whether voters admit it or not. And while Junyang was being picked on for his stage presence and his dance moves, Weilian was commended for just trying to sway to the groove, unnatural and rigid as it was.

How can a competition be fair once there is such vast difference in its contestants?

And in the final outcome, Weilian was crowned Singapore first Superstar. But will he ever truly find true happiness being given this honour by the hordes of people that voted for him? I doubt. The countless votes that paved the way to Superstardom for him win may just become his bane in time to come. Just take a look at the number of times he broke down in his interviews and such when he recalls criticisms of him winning by sympathy votes. He even mentioned that he requested to withdraw from competitions as he cannot handle the immense pressure from the public, as he is one that can be extremely affected by even one negative criticism out of many positive comments. Surely this personality does not make him a suitable candidate to be a Superstar.

A Superstar inevitably will have to stand up against negative criticisms by the media and the public, and if he cannot handle such stress, then perhaps he will find more joy just basking, to entertain those that like his music and is willing to stop by and just listen, where his audience will only consist of those that like and support him.

Big Brother's Watching

2005-08-28T19:09:00.000+08:00

This post has been reposted, with images edited in a coward attempt to safeguard my own ass, as I do not wish to land my butts behind bars.

Ok.. In 'Enemy of the State' fashion... I'm feeling jittery all over. One reason is becos I am already running late meeting my bunkmates, another reason is the revelation that I am about to give. Although I AM late.. but this is something which I simply CANNOT hold back even 1 second longer. This discovery is just simply overwhelming!! I simply MUST blog it NOW.

The images below can be extremely disturbing to some. View with caution.

Take a deep breathe in...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And out.
.
.
.
.
In...
.
.
.
.
.
.
And out.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ready?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NOW!

The 'White House', home of SAF Bands

I came across this software called Google Earth from Weng's blog... in which he said Chris was the one who stumbled upon it. Apart from the cool factor of this Google Earth thingey, I was literally blown over by the immense power of this supposedly geeky online toy. I mean.. look, this is no ordinary map that I have posted above. It is the White House.. home to SAF Bands. It's a military building belonging to the SAF... situated deep within the huge Nee Soon Camp, which happens to be an ARMY camp, for goodness sake. And what is this?? I can simply zoom in and see EVERY GOD DAMN THING IN IT?!?! I mean.. seriously.. doesn't this pose some serious security issues??? Look, I can even NAME EVERY GOD DAMN ROOM!! If this is not a breach of security, I don't know what is.

True enough, you may argue that Nee Soon camp is not that important afterall, but I used this becos I work in that place everyday and I know it inside out. If anyone of you is from some camps of higher security level, do try and see if you can spot EVERYTHING in your camp. I seriously think you will. I have personally seen satellite images of the Istana, the MINDEF headquarters, the naval bases and all the airbases... And if the image above is not enough to convince you, here's more.

Route taken by foot in camp

The path in red is the route one will usually take to and fro White House, the bunk and the Cookhouse. Does this convince you now? (Who says bandsmen are pampered lucky people? See how far we have to go just to get some food in out mouth for every meal??? And if we need to change attire... $#%&@!)

Initially, I have posted the original images from Google Earth, totally unedited except for the labeling... And when my army mates heard of it... they gave me the are-you-sure-it-is-ok kind of look... which kinda made me think twice of wat I did. Ok, I'm sure I'm no Xiaxue or watever.. and my blog readership definitely isn't that awesome. But they do have a point that this is still an army camp afterall... and my revealing of what's inside, together with the coordinates, isn't that good a thing to do. Well, I dun want to take the risk too, though I do not know of any military law that prohibits one from exhibiting what he knows online, with regards to camp issues that do not have the word 'classified' or 'confidential' sprawled across it. In this case, the knowledge of bearings and directions... and also, I wun want to walk up to White House one fine day to see SIB, MP or RPs there waiting for me, handcuffs in hands.

Thus, after much contemplation, I decided to censor the coordinates.

And as we discuss this discovery in bunk.. and I argued dat it's seriously something the SAF, or any military organisation can't run away from. That is, satellite images of their camps from being shown. I mean, you can't stop technology from advancing. You cannot stop people from using binoculars, CCTV or wat have you, even if it invades YOUR privacy.. and you can't stop people from expression their views... cos dat is the 'freedom of speech'( so hot a topic when they came up with the 'Speaker's Corner', some pooty white elephant that it is now). And you can't stop people from bringing in devices which supposedly pose a threat to security, like cameras, phones and camera phones. Haha~

Which brings me to another thing. What the hell do SAF pose restrictions to prohibit camera phones in camps?? Almost every god-damn phone now is boasting of camera functions. Surely you cannot stop everyone from bringing one to camp, using 'security concerns' as a justification. You simply CANNOT stop technology from advancing! If anyone were to have ideas of taking photos of sensitive stuff in camp, I am very sure they will have ways to do that, with something even more advanced den a camera phone. Like a 500 times tele-photo zoom camera with 1000 mega pixels... k k.. too exaggerating. The point is, if anyone were to have ill-intentions of bringing the camp down or leaking sensitive documents, a camera phone will definitely not be the tool of choice. And they will have access to tools that are way more advanced den a lousy VGA or 1+ megapixels phone. Surely the authority should spend more time educating army personnel on the responsible use of camera phones and the moral and ethical issues when handling sensitive military information, and not simply restricting the use of certain geeky gadgets (which people will still find loopholes and smuggle them into camps anyway).

And there's the Catch-22 behind the Google Earth images. Government bodies all over the world simply have no rights over the images owned by Google Earth. And requests to obscure certain areas within their countries will be as good as announcing to the whole world (and to all the terrorists) where to aim their next missile.

As such, one can only wait with fingers crossed that Google Earth will not be the next geeky choice of tool for the terrorists out there.

Reunion

2005-08-28T16:29:00.000+08:00

It was a night of nostalgia... a night that is simple, yet awfully sweet and heart-warming. It leaves a tingling sweet sensation and it will stay etched in one's memory for time to come.

It was the night of Jianyun's surprise Birthday celebration.. carefully organised by the awfully sweet gal of his, Nengduan. She wanted to give him a surprise and painstakingly got the contacts of Jianyun's different groups of friends by drawing links here and there between the few she knows of, and liaising with them to spread the details of the Birthday Surprise to other friends of Jianyun.

The efforts she put in touched me greatly, especially so when she does not really know some of us.. and yet, she took the trouble to find means of contacting us, and invited the whole lot of us... and she did all these without 'stealing' the contacts in Jianyun's hp! Can tell from Jianyun's expression that he was visibly touched by Nengduan. And it sortta made me a tad guilty for not putting in much effort to keep in contact with some of my friends, including Jianyun too.

Haven't really interacted with Jianyun for a long long time... I can't use the word 'seen' cos I DID see him at his Commissioning Parade, and all the rehearsals before that, where he got his Sword of Honour.. But becos of regimental regulations, I can't just walk up to a friend in the middle of the parade square and slap him on his back and chat rite? I must say I am damn proud of having Jianyun as a friend/senior. Sword of Honour can?? I mean.. how zai is dat?

Anyway, during the Birthday BBQ, amidst the good food (Jianyun mum's Spare ribs rox!! And the pork chop, satay, otar etc... Best BBQ food I've eaten!!) and wine.. I had the rare chance to catch up with friends like Wenjie and Lynette, both whom I have also not seen for a very long time too. It's a pity that Yucheng, Ping'an and Melvin couldn't make it. I must really really thank Nengduan and Jianyun for this.. it's like, somehow the feelings of all the years that'd gone by just suddenly came back in torrents.. We reminisced about petty events that took place eons ago.. the little funny incidents back when we were all still very much bonded to one another.. and the feeling is overwhelming. It's like, although we haven't seen each other for so long, there is no distance between us. And it seems like it's just yesterday when all those funny things took place.

At the back of my mind, I saw the familiar images of HCCO's cosy little CO room... the jigsaw we did.. the little pencil souvenirs.. the dinners at Cute Chicken/KAP... the CO camps.. the chalets.. the Beijing trip. Everything is just so heart-warming... so full of nostalgia. Those were the happiest years of my life in school... and I truly want to thank the friends that wove such sweet memories for me. Lynette, Kaiyang, Yucheng, Jianyun, Melvin, Ping'an, Wenjie just to name a few.

On our way back.. I chatted with Lynette. Much like the way we would when she still don the yellow-ochre HC uniform, with her hair tied up in the casual ponytail with a Burberry-look 'scrungey' How the hell do you spell that? And somehow... I felt a sudden longing for all my friends.

How are you guys doing?

Masitna Showdown

2005-08-20T15:27:00.000+08:00

Well, pretty dramatic episode in camp this week. The subject of Masitna, which is none other den Mas himself, finally realises that more and more people seems to be pretty intolerant of his actions. And so, he confides in Ryan, who out of kindness, assumed the role of a mediator and tried to reconcile things between Mas and the ever-growing Masitna Society. And dat took place in the form of, the 'Masitna Showdown'.

Just in case you are aware of the existence of the online sanctuary of Masitna, and begin to think that the revelation of its existence to the subject itself has taken place, fear not. Negoki wun allow his fun to stop. The holy grail of Masitna remains hidden from 'the one'... and what happened was merely a talk between 5 Masitna warriors, the mediator (Ryan) and the subject, Mas himself.

If you think I am going to delve deeper into what happened during the talk, you are to be disappointed. I will not. Reason being the talk was solely meant to give 'the subject' a chance to know what majority really feels about him (though I know many will be more interested in all the itsy bitsy juicy content of the talk,) and thus giving him a chance to change. Hopefully, this will bring about a change in him, and we all know changes take time. Therefore, time is what we're giving him, and we'll not discuss the details of the talk, at least not until the time is appropriate, that is after an agreed 2 weeks grace period...

Putting the subject itself aside, this 'Showdown' which was originally intended for the good of the subject itself, turns out to bring much more good then originally intended, or expected. It gave a rare chance for me to see a different side to the people that I see everyday, and thought I knew well enough of. The truth is, even if 'the subject' does not change or check his behavior thereafter, I believe some good has already come out of this 'Showdown'.

For the first time, I see how the people of my band actually come together as one, discuss, and attempt to resolve conflicts and differences in an extremely civil and cohesive manner. And how when faced with such a tricky situation, everyone handled it with such grace and effectively and objectively conveyed their message across. How well 'the subject' receives what was given to him, that really solely depends on him.

Having so many people come together, and for the first time, put down in words how they felt about each another really warmed my heart. It gave us a rare chance to say things we feel about one another, which otherwise will seem awkward to be openly discussed. Our initial 'impressions' of one another... the respect for one another.. the concern of how each other felt etc. And it suddenly dwelled on me how much this means to me.. and that how much we have bonded with each other as fellow bandsmen. And it made me realise too how fast all these might come to an end.

For instance, Ryan, whom I only barely started to know better, is going to ORD soon.. in 2 weeks time to be exact. What he did to try help 'the subject' seek reconcilation with the rest in our band is truly admirable in every sense. His genuine kindness and goodwill really touched me.. although it's more to help the subject den anything, yet I feel that what he has taken the time and effort to do is what many others will not have the capacity or capability or compassion to achieve. And this speaks volumes of his character which definitely left a deep impression in me.

I hope that after this incident, all of us can realise how much it takes for us, us fellow bandsmen, to come so far.. and not to take things for granted, and that our friendship will continue to flourish for whatever time we have left with one another.

As for now, I've got to get my bags packed. Will have to go meet my fellow bunkmates soon, to top up groceries that'll last the week (IPPT, GOHs, CODs... have to stay-in everyday) Right now, my bunk's cupboard is pretty devoid of comestibles.. after being savagely attacked by scavenging friends from other bunks. No thanks to Jansen and Thomas.. (Haha.. joking lar~)

Will end for now.

Bunk Outing to Ubin!!

2005-08-15T00:56:00.000+08:00

As the title suggest.. the whole lot of us (it's only 4, namely ChenGuo, Yeowmun, Junwei and me) set out to Ubin, on what Yuanqin termed as a 'self-inflicted fatigue.' Watever it is, at least we're not sinfully rotting and stoning at home, working on fl-abs. Nonetheless, the trip was pretty fun. Long story short, here's letting the pictures speak for themselves. Go click on the Flickr badge in my navigational bars on the right. Must read the description.. there's a photo-story in it!

After the trip, we all headed home, and den met up again for supper. This time, Yuanqin decides he'll join us. See the trend here? Physical outdoor activities = Yuanqin's not going. Makan/indoor entertainment = Yuanqin's going.

We went to this 'Bedok Blk 85 market', where there's really a kaleidoscopic variety of mouth-watering local hawkerfare; we're literally spoilt for choices!! Bah chor mee, BBQ chicken, stingray, fried oysters, carrot cake... the list is never-ending! Stop swallowing your saliva now.. Oh my god.. I'm sounding like some Bedok 85 Ambassador or sth.. But seriously, you guys must go there to see and taste for yourselves!! Nice nice!! Yanxin.. when you're free to drive, let's go there for supper with the gang! Hee hee. I treat you!

The sinful makan-session is followed by movie-marathon at Yeowmun's humble abode. Well, sort of movie marathon lah.. but that's after other stuff like uploading of the Ubin trip's photos, the Ipod people kopping mp3s (so much for honoring intellectual property), surfing a bit, chatting a bit. By the time we really got to watching the movies, everyone was dozing off. Ha~

To sum up, it was quite a neat outing cum gathering. I mean, which bunk is as cohesive as ours??? Ha!~ Looking forward to the next outing where more will join us!!

New Layout~!

2005-08-13T19:17:00.000+08:00

Phew~ Finally! A change to my layout.

The old layout, which I am still pretty fond of, is deemed 'cumbersome', 'irritating' and 'difficult to read' by a few others. Largely due to the presence of tables and the use of the small fonts. And so, I set out to change my layout, to appease the said few, and also to better reflect my current mood. (Haa... cos my prev layout, as you all shd know, is pretty gloomy. Largely due to the mood I was in when I created that.)

Additions to my blog includes a Blogroll that Negoki recommended; and also, a pretty neat looking clock which I have looted from Weng. And this is roughly what I sent him via sms:

News flash!!
A burglar has been spotted lotting from what is commonly known as "Room 9."(Shouldn't it be 22??) He was last seen, carrying off with him, a small classic black and white clock; and currently, the loot is said to be somewhere in his virtual online hide-out. It is believed that he'll most likely get away scot-free for this.

Anyway, hope this new layout appeals to you guys.

Tata for now!

Love of our bunk~

2005-08-09T20:49:00.000+08:00

The Love of Our Bunk

Well, this entry is purely devoted to the love of our bunk that, sad to say, has inevitably moved on to where it was meant to be... right in the tender loving care of Snailz.

Ok… I know, I know. I'm being super ambiguous here. I dunnoe why, but somehow I like being ambiguous. Anyway, that aside, I shall now unveil the object that had mesmerized almost each and everyone in my bunk (Well, nothing just seem to interest Gideon, so, wth~) For the past few otherwise dull and boring days in camp, the ultra cool object of desire that has earned itself such a prestige is none other then wat is known as: *drum roll* Antworks!!

This is how the Antworks looks like.

Ok, so just what is this concaved piece of plastic container with some alien-looking gel thingey inside? And why the hell is it oh-so-intriguing about it that it has captured the mind and soul of so many people in and around my bunk?

Well, for one, the gel is, as you can see, just some gel. So it is not very interesting at all. Unless you are some weirdos who DO actually find it interesting and even bothered to taste some of it. *Eeww!!* But the cool thing about it is, you can actually put ants into it and watch them work their magic with the gel! Seriously, how cool is dat? This thing puts Sims to shame!! Now, who will want to stay glued to their computers watching a bunch of pixels chat, flirt, give back rubs, f#*K, slap, fight with each other (in whatever order) when they can actually watch ants do all the incredible stuff they do live! Talk about reality tv! Talk about real voyeurism!!

It started out with a few ants from batch 01. Ryan, being the ardent insect lover, helped me a bit... and Yuanqin, the fellow accomplice in all things lame helped me out too. Went to the garbage collection point of the White house to collect some of the huge number of ants there. Sad to say, they din last the night. Most died. Some escaped. One died while escaping thru one of the 2 air-holes located on the lid. Well, we won't let one failure put us down.

Let me digress for a while. Seriously, we realise how stupid the manufacturers are to include 'tools' that aren't exactly tools since they're extremely useless in the fine art of catching ants. Why bother to include a stupid stick to just poke 4 holes into the gel when seriously, the ants DO NOT start burrowing from them. (This is verified by many other Antworks fanatics out there that all their Antworks burrows do not start with the said 4 holes.) And what use is a stupid little dumb container with cumbersome-to-remove magnifying glass cover? Wtf is that stupid thing for? One thing good is the magnifying glass though. Not so much as to help catch ants, but definitely great to burn things with. (Read: Converging the sun's rays to one fine fiery dot that'll burn whatever you want to burn. And hence the term 'magni-burn' that I've coined.)

The stupid useless tools with the great useful magnifying glass.

And ants are darn smart creatures if you ask me. If you were to put them in a strange, new environment, they all go super hyperactive and will be running all over, waiting for any and every chance to escape. So, if you caught like, 4 ants, and you wish to put in 1 new ant, 3 might just escape when you open the lid for 1/4 of a second to put the new ant in. (K, dat was a little too exaggerated. But you get the idea.)

Having said so, me and my fellow ants-catchers (Ryan, Yuanqin, Yeowmun and Arthur) devised an ingenious way to catch these little creatures, although it may seem a tad cruel. But, wth. It works, and that itself said it all.

First, you just need to understand certain facts.

Ants DO NOT suffer from brain concussion, and any apparent physical harm, even though they have been violently shook for a prolonged period of time. (If the ant is the size of a man, it has withstood being thrown about in a space of about 3 basketball courts, with tremors reaching at least a 10 on the Richter scale. N.B. Richter scales do not exceed 9.)
A continuous shake on the container render the ants helpless to catch hold onto any surface. Thus they wun be crawling all over.
Ants will take about 10s to recover from the trauma immediately after you stop shaking.

That said, all you need is some practice to counter possible psycho-motor problem and viola~! You are an Expert Ants Catcher in no time! Ants will not be running all over!! You wun be wasting precious time catching and re-catching ants!

Back to the ants. Batch 02 are of the red kind similar to those that Jude suggested catching in the toilet outside Studio E. But this batch comes from the grass patch right in front, and to the right of the area where trainees fall-in. This batch too, can escape from the 2 air-holes as their physical size is not much different from batch 01, and also, they have darn high fatality rate. Which basically meant it's another failure.

Can't really recall when the giant "Queen" ant came into the picture. All I can remember is Weising and Joshua telling me of a giant flying ant in their bunk. And so, the first permanent resident of the Antworks is born. It lived for a relative long period of time, and burrowed quite a bit. Until it finally dug its own gel-ly grave and passed on to the world beyond. To this date, it can still be seen in Snailz' Antworks, resting in eternal peace right smack in the middle of the Antworks. !@#^$!* Can't get rid of it's dead body now. Nice.

Now is where things get interesting. The 2 new species that came after are relative large, but still only about 1/3 the size of the Queen. And the best thing is, one of these species actually burrowed!! (The other species merely attacked others, tear them to shreds and eat them up, much to the delight of Yuanqin.) And it's tunnels I'm talking about!~ Imagine the thrill when only 2 of the correct species completed a short tunnel with 2 openings in 2 days! That really gave great encouragement when all previous attempts failed miserably. And so, after this great leap forward, Arthur, Yeowmun and I set out to find new additions to our pathetic army of TWO good ants... and finally, a good collection of at least 30 is added!! (The horrifically nasty cannibalistic ant is magni-burnt out of the tunnel that it has taken over as it laid in ambush for unsuspecting burrowing ants, and thus faced justice as Yuanqin magni-burnt it to death after it's been removed.

On and off, people like Albert and Zhihan kept lamenting on how obsessed I am with the ants. But little did they know this obsession is shared amongst many others in and out of the bunk. This is evident when the people I meet changed their daily greetings to: "Eh Keith! How's your ants?" And also, closeted ants fanatics like Yeowmun and Junwei were spotted going to Raymonia's cupboard (I kept the Antworks there) to gaze at the ants first thing in the morning!! That's even before they brush their teeth!! And people like ChenGuo and Weiye are also known to spent hours gazing at ants and lamenting on why they are doing that! Ha~!

Ok, shall end here, although the amazing Antworks definitely still full of life and vigour, except that it is in the hands of Snailz the Slow now. Really beginning to miss the dear addition to the bunk. They are as dear to my bunk mates as pets are to humans now, and I'm sure my fellow ant-complices feel the same, just like a precious part of them is being ripped away from their very body. Oh ants, I hope you're doing fine with Snailz...

P.S. Snailz, do update ur blog with some pictures of how the dear ants are doing yah???

Just for Laughs

2005-08-09T20:36:00.000+08:00

Ha~ Decided to post these pictures, just for laughs! Oh hail the power of Photoshop!!~

N.B. Anyone who does not wish for his/her photo to be shown here, just leave a tag and I'll remove it asap. :)

Cheerios!!

These pictures should be enough to speak up for how much time and effort that is required to make a nice photo in any publication. Hope you guys enjoy the laughs!!

The thing about tau-pok

2005-08-06T16:12:00.000+08:00

The thing is, when bandsmen are left with too much free time with absolutely nothing to do, they'll come up with the weirdest activities to keep themselves entertained. One such typical activity is what we affectionately call a 'taupok' session.

K, for the benefit of those who are clueless about what 'taupok' means, it's an activity which involves the squashing of individuals, with the use of nothing else but sheer bodyweight of many individuals.

Usually, the main victim is decided in split seconds, and the first assailant will pounce on his prey with great viciousness without any warning (much like how a tigress or a lioness will pounce on its prey), pinning him either to a bed or the floor, or whatever is accessible. With the main assailant sprawled over his prey, he will place all his bodyweight down onto the victim, usually stunning the victim rendering him immobile, pinned, squashed and breathless. This is done simultaneously with the war cries of "taupok!!" to alert fellow assailants of the pinned prey, after which interested participants will den join in the fun, piling themselves on top of one another, rendering the main victim more immobile, more squashed and more breathless then ever. N.B. I say 'main victim' becos the ones at the bottom of the stack are also equally squashed, don't you think?

As one will be wondering, what a mere humble local comestible has got to do with the activity, first, we must picture how taupoks look like... maybe not now in squeaky clean air-conditioned supermarkets where they lay comfortably side by side in nice little styrofoam boxes with shrink-wrap around them, but definitely so in times when the policemen still wore shorts. They are squashed and stacked on top of one another, strung together on strings and hanged up for sale then. Get it?

'Taupok' usually requires a relatively large number of participants, and must be relatively spontaneous to achieve maximum effect; reason being the larger the number of people involved, the greater the 'impact' and the greater the spontaneity, the greater the element of surprise is for the main victim. And the interesting thing to note is: nobody ever gets angry in a 'taupok' session. Not even the main victim, or the ones at the bottom of the stack, or anyone else for that matter. Why??? Cos 'taupok' is all done in the name of fun, and it's done only amongst friends. I mean, who will want to 'taupok' someone you really hate? I mean... ewww... Imagine letting your body come into contact with the highly detestable Singapore Arts Museum.. or Smelly-Ol' You-know-who. I mean, get a life man, seriously.

So when I got to know that certain highly detestable individual made a remark, which goes something like: "Ha! This is not enough. He deserves more then that", coupled with sneer and scorn during a recent 'taupok' session where I got 'taupok-ed', it really got to me. I mean, seriously, wtf?!? Don't you get it? Don't you know why no one will ever 'taupok' you?? It's becos you ARE that detestable!! And that you’ve got no friends!! Like I said before, 'taupok' is a friendly gesture, though violent it may seem, and that is precisely why no one should, or will ever get angry when he is being 'taupok-ed', or gets 'taupok-ed' while 'taupok-ing' someone else.

Hopefully, this certain individual will get to read this, and consequentially realise how sad and sorry his life is. How he is putting people off and getting on everyone's nerves. And does he know that there's already a society dedicated to him? No... (Read: The Masitna Society. Read it backwards if you don't get it. And if you still don't get it, then probably you're not smart enough to be part of it.) I hope Yuanqin is free and bored enough to do up a site for the society; and that Weng can find the weird scissors and set up the Un-SAM Salon next to Jumari's Barber shop.

Have you had your 'taupok' today?

damn zai~

2005-07-29T21:20:00.000+08:00

K.. just a short, lame episode of wat happened in camp today.

A friend of mine, who now happens to sport a hairstyle made unpopular by a certain 3-lettered, thicked skinned being *rofl*, was rummaging through my stuff in my bunk cupboard when he stumbled upon this recorder that I have, which I used infrequently to muse myself when I have really nothing to do during duties. He was then trying out the scales to see what is the highest notes he can hit. The following conversation then took place:

Me: "I have a senior who is damn zai with the recorder who can reach a high E."

Him: (After much futile attempts to hit anything higher then a C) "Well, I am just 2 notes away from your senior who is damn zai." (Starts his usual self-conceited giggles)

A certain YA: Yah, so you're just 'damn'. (Wiiiiiiide smile. Doubled with hairy chest.)

BWAAAAHAAA HAAA~~~ Can die laughing..

well well

2005-07-24T11:50:00.000+08:00

Ok.. trying to kill time now, so I can start rushing back to camp for OCS Commissioning Parade later on... Ha~ But one look at the weather outside, all I can say is, good luck cadets.. you may not get your parade after all! Mwahahaha~

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful
My heart is so delightful
And since we've got parade to siam
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain~!"

Ok, I shouldn’t be so mean.. So many of my platoon mates are commissioning today. Ensign party, there’s Gerard, Contingents, there’s Boo, Ah Lim, Kevin, Edric etc (lots more that I din see), and Parade Commander, Zhonghan (Wah, still as zai as before.) And Jianyun!! Sword of Honours wor~ Dun play play!! Way to go man! (Hey TCHS & HCCO juniors, he’s a great great grand suona senior!)

Not exactly looking forward to going back today.. cos after we’re back from OCS, everyone will be heading home for their off-in-lieu on Monday.. leaving me alone cos I have HQBO duty on Monday. What luck~ >.< But on a brighter note, I get to keep my off though.. Yet again, what good is an off when all your friends are not free??

Well, kinda bored now that I have finished my entire job already. BHCO's concert had finally come to an end, which largely translates to the end of my sleepless nights and burnt weekends spent rushing publications, making amendments and tossing and turning over possible ramifications of certain oversight on my part regarding certain aspect of my design. Whatever it is, the dust should have settled by now.. I can only hope for the best. And a million thanks once again to Hansheng, who has selflessly loaned me his camera on several occasions… I literally would not have been able to do what I did without his help. Thanks!!

Disclaimer: The following para is going to sound super ego.. but that is not going to stop me from posting it.. hee hee.

On the day of the concert itself, me, being the photographer for the event, perched myself high up amongst the audience seats and waited for the concert to commence. That is when a group of NTU students seated themselves next to me. I was sipping water from my Adidas water bottle (thanks Yanxin) when I overheard this from a couple amongst them:

Guy: (Flips through programme booklet) Woah, they really willing to spend lar. Can afford to make their programme booklets until lidat.

Gal: -Silent-

Either she’s too soft spoken or she’s a cool nonchalant chick.

Guy: (Flips to page of soloists) Wah kao! Still got money to take make-over shots!!

I am so on cloud nine~ trying hard to not to choke on my water and spurt rite into the head of the guy before me.

Guy: Let’s go for make-over shots together one of these days..

I was so so so damn tempted to turn around, introduce myself and tell that fella that I’m the one who did it.. ha~ But, that’s pretty much equivalent to me confessing that I have been eavesdropping their conversation.. And so, I abstained myself.. from talking to them... or floating up into the acoustically treated ceilings of SCH. I guess it’s stuff like these that you hear, which are not really said to you that really makes your day.. and give the impetus for any designer to continue their otherwise, low profile, behind-the-scene job.

Ok ok.. must stop my rambling le.. Jansen giving me a lift to camp~ Yeah! So, tata for now!~

P.S Negoki and Weng said my fonts too small.. happy now?? :)

Update..

2005-07-10T12:21:00.000+08:00

Well, so much for increasing tag traffic... ploy worked pretty well, didn't it?

Anyway, some updates.

Broke SAF Bands record by being the only band to be deployed for 3 consecutive full military state funerals, (slow march up slope with escorting troop included) in 3 consecutive weekends. Wu-hoo~ Nice. So many people dying in such a short time. Haiz.. such is life.

K, just before you think I am being disrespectful to the deceased, you shd know that some of my meaner co-workers in camp actually referred to funerals in Mandai Crematorium as bbq functions. (Well, at least I dun go around telling people 'wakes are just curry functions'.) You know.. the fire.. the body.. yada yada.. Initially, when I was deployed for funerals and I hear such comments, I too, felt it was pretty uncalled for in such solemn affairs. But when you have to undergo so many of such funerals, you'll realise that one has to really become pretty emotionally detached from what he is doing in order to be more professional about it. Like surgeons who supposedly sway to music from stereos during major operations etc.. Would you want to see a band playing and choke on their notes as they sob or breakdown in tears? No.

But still, you might say that doesn't warrant the Bandsmen to make such remarks.. well, den I can only say NHFO. That's another thing I learnt in camp. That these four golden alphabets are supposedly sprawled across the walls of a certain airbase in Singapore. Wat does it mean? No Happy, Fuck Off. Nice. May elaborate on the story if I feel like it some other time.

Now, for the 4th weekend, my band is unfortunately slated for a Wasbe publicity stint at, of all places, Nee Soon CC. (How degrading~!) And as if that is not enough, we're going to performing side by side with not 1, but 2 Primary School bands! Now, that IS the ultimate insult. Ok, it's not like I really cared. Up till now, hours before the performance, I am still unsure of what instrument(s) I am supposed to be playing. Well, we're definitely seeing the drawbacks of trying to make use of economies of scale. Doesn't mean by combining 2 bands, you'll get a better band. Sometimes, the lack of clarity of who's in charge just makes things worse. We shall see how we flop later.

Been reading an army mate of mine's blog. Very entertaining read indeed. Just linked him too.. ha~ He had this theory of how he can categorized everyone he knows into 3 distinct groups.

People who agree with him, People who eventually agree with him, People who are wrong.
People he likes, People he's neutral with, Sam.

For his second grouping, I guess mine is pretty much similar, but it goes like this:

People I like, People I'm neutral with, Sam & Jason.

If you want to know why I feel that way, just ask Negoki, or anyone who is NOT a sick, revolting, self-centered, I-am-Sam or I-am-the-best-drummer-in-Singapore bastard.

And I just noticed that the movement of people I know within these 3 categories is pretty high. So much for having 3 DISTINCT groups.. I mean, what's the point??

Finally finished working my guts out for the programme booklet for Braddell Heights CO. Imagine having to rush back from camp only to find yourself overwhelmed with e-mails, smses and wat-not of impending deadlines and having to lose all sleep (2+ hrs of shut-eye doesn't count) just to make sure everything is ready for the press. Anyway, conclusion is, it's sent for printing as of yesterday. End of story. And that it is too late for anything to be done le.

As usual, there were dramatic highs & lows in the process of getting it done. Shan't really elaborate on it.. but I dare say I have put in 101% effort in doing my part. Enough said. Shall leave it to everyone to judge for themselves.

K, schedule in camp for up-coming weeks doesn't seem any better. OCS parades Corps of Drums and rehearsals... and coming Changing of Guards support.. hmmm.. no breaks till August for THE band dat's been working 6-days week for a month le. How nice. Will not want to make comparisons to the 2 other bands.. the atrocious numbers of offs they've been getting and how not everyone of them is involved in NDP, but they still use it as an excuse for the WHOLE band anyway. No.. no.. I din say anything.

So I think I should stop my ranting.. for now at least. tata~

Busy busy busy

2005-06-18T22:45:00.000+08:00

Who says life as a Band musician is easy?

It's parade after parade... and it seems never-ending.

First, there's the endless rehearsals and Corp of Drums for SAF Day Parade on the 1st of July... then there's the Change of Command Parade at Tengah Airbase.. and then, there's Wasbe Outreach Concert and Interaction with a Hongkong Band.. and all of a sudden, we're deployed to a FULL Military Funeral for a Navy Specialist who passed away during a special Ops Training (complete with slow march up the crematorium)... Phew~ Looks like I can store enough off to last me like.. 7 days???

Not that I'm complaining.. Well, you win some, you loose some. Just hope to pull through all these parades and then enjoy the fruits of our labour.. our offs!!

Well, read from others' blog about their recollections of HCCO.. and of Tian Lai Hui Yin.. so, just outta fun and curiosity, I have a little survey here for whoever that reads this:

Who still owns some form of Tian Lai Hui Yin memorabilia?? Or has it found it's way to the trash bin? (Leave a tag on my tagboard) << Lousy way to increase tag traffic.

TLHY Reminiscence

2005-06-12T22:28:00.000+08:00

Where were you, at this moment in time, exactly 1 year ago??

Time really flies..

All of a sudden.. a year has passed since Tian Lai Hui Yin.

TLHY Reminiscence...

2005-06-04T11:11:00.000+08:00

Hmm... came across this entry that was on my fren's blog, which he ripped from another of his friend's blog... so now I've officially ripped it off again.. wow.. so much for beign H.I.P. (Honour Intellectual Property? Eat my shoe.) =P

As people grow older, I think it is getting harder and harder to maintain friendships. People get caught up in work, lovelife etc. In school, at least there is still some source of common topic. Working life... maybe not. Everyone's path diverge. Suddenly you feel there is less in common and meeting up becomes a chore. There are some friends I treasure a lot but it's tiring when you always have to take the initiative to ask "how are you doing", "shall we meet up", etc. We used to be so close and that's why I want to maintain the friendship cos I feel it's a pity to let it go to waste. But maybe when people drift apart, then it's time to let go. Just treasure the memories. I have this box of presents, letters, soft toys from my friends since secondary school. I used to like taking them out to read through them but nowadays I don't bother. It's sad when you realise how some friendships have just gone to waste. But okay, maybe gain some, lose some. I also got to know a lot of new friends and they were the ones who helped me out a lot in many ways. Maybe as one grows, your thinking change so you need different kind of friends who can click with you. And if you have to constantly meet up to maintain the friendship, then maybe the friendship was never that strong in the first place. For instance, I've known H for more than 5 years and I only meet up with H like two or three times a year but there is never any awkwardness when we meet and we find it very easy to confide in each other. I think that's what true friendship should be like. Always being there for you when you need them.

Makes hell lot of sense rite?

Now sleep on it.

On Insecurity

2005-05-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

Everyone is afraid of the unknown.

The feeling of not knowing what is to happen; of what to expect; and what will become of the future.

This feeling of uncertainty sux, and I can understand that.

As the result of this uncertainty, insecurity arises, and some of us out there, decide to safeguard our own interests by putting up a super strong defense, or even launch a preemptive strike at people whom we perceive as threats to our present status. And in the process of us attempting to prevent what we perceive as a possible eventuality from becoming reality, we unintentionally cause what we fear to happen, and may even catalyzed the entire process...

Quoting from Qingyu's blog :

"we are all afraid of the uncertainties... we don't want to lose the things we gained... and because of this we have become so obsessed with our pursuit of power and the things we want... until we forgot our original aims...

and in the end.. that's how u lose the things u didn't want to lose... in exchange for the things u gained..."

Sigh.. yet I dunnoe how to resolve the sticky situation that I'm now in... Maybe it's the way I carried myself, that caused people to be wary of me even before getting to know me... Or maybe, it's just becos of me. Haiz..

Nothing

2005-05-21T16:22:00.000+08:00

I hate to admit it, but I think this is going to be one of the worst year ever.

So much for a birthday dat falls on Friday the 13th.

Nothing seems to be going right ever since. Argh.

Haiz..

P.S. Nonetheless, must thank you guys, from the 61st Batch Training Wing, for the cool tee~ (I like da punk look!)
Alvin, Sugui and Jinsen for da 'surprise' dat almost burst my tummy...
And the many many well wishers who have called/smsed/msned to send their greetings. Thanks guys~

Friday da 13th

2005-05-13T18:48:00.000+08:00

Having my Birthday falling on Friday the 13th (yes, I checked. It was a Friday too when I was born), I was absolutely shocked to see this screaming in my face at my bookmarked 'dictionary.com' homepage.

Word of the Day for Friday May 13, 2005

triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun:
A morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th.

Thirteen people, pledged to eliminate triskaidekaphobia, fear of the number 13, today tried to reassure American sufferers by renting a 13 ft plot of land in Brooklyn for 13 cents . . . a month.
--Daily Telegraph, January 14, 1967

Past disasters linked to the number 13 hardly help triskaidekaphobics overcome their affliction. The most famous is the Apollo 13 mission, launched on April 11, 1970 (the sum of 4, 11 and 70 equals 85 - which when added together comes to 13), from Pad 39 (three times 13) at 13:13 local time, and struck by an explosion on April 13.
--"It's just bad luck that the 13th is so often a Friday," Electronic Telegraph, September 8, 1996

Triskaidekaphobia is a fairly new word (first found in print in 1911) formed from Greek treiskaideka, triskaideka, "thirteen" (treis, "three" + kai, "and" + deka, "ten") + phobos, "fear." The adjective form is triskaidekaphobic. One who fears the number 13 is a triskaidekaphobe or triskaidekaphobic.

There are many theories about the origin of triskaidekaphobia. In medieval Christian countries the number 13 came to be considered unlucky because there were 13 persons at the Last Supper of Christ. Fridays are also unlucky, because the Crucifixion was on a Friday. Hence a Friday falling on the thirteenth day would be regarded as especially unlucky.

Some famous triskaidekaphobes¹:

Napoleon
Herbert Hoover
Mark Twain
Richard Wagner
Franklin Roosevelt

1. Source: "It's just bad luck that the 13th is so often a Friday," Daily Telegraph, September 8, 1996

Ha... so there's actually a term for the throngs of people out there who fear the day I was born... Mwahahahaha~

I'm back

2005-05-04T16:19:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging for a long, long time.. Not that I do not have to urge to, but somehow, just din really have the luxury of time to sit down and really blog.

If you have noticed, I have just changed my blog skin and also the background music recently. Thought it’s about time for a change and this current skin will reflect my current mood better. Like what my BSM (Band Sergeant Major) said, I still have a ‘long journey ahead’ of me… and I’ve got lots of stuff to learn, hurdles to cross and hardships to overcome. Nobody said it’s going to be easy, but I’ve just got to try… to pull thru it and prove myself.

Life back in Bands has been quite hectic... and even a tad stressful to a certain extent. But if anyone were to ask me, I’ll still reply with the same conviction that I still prefer life back in Bands. Not that I’m mad about parades and drills and stuff, but at the very least, I dun feel like some walking dead booking into camp everyday other day, just to dutifully waste 9hrs of my life away on a daily mundane basis.

Been thru quite a lot of my firsts in the past 1 plus month in SAF Band B. My virgin OCS parade, funeral (yes, we have to do them.. it’s a state obligation), Presentation of Credentials, countless Guards of Honour parades and also my very first Changing of Guards (COG) parade as the main band!! Learnt a lot along the way too.. ha~ Just for those of you fellow Singaporeans out there who’s totally unaware of such a thing as the COG, it is held on the first Sunday of every month when the Guards on sentry duty at the Istana changes over. The parade will commence in the heart of Orchard Road, between Hello Singtel building and the Heerens’s where the new guards, the Silent Precision Drill Squad (SPDS) and the main band will march off to the Istana, where the ceremony will den take place will the old guards and the supporting band waiting there.

The COGs (main) are always considered a fun thing to do for us bandsmen, cos it’s the rare chance for us Bandsmen to bask in the limelight as we marched proudly down Orchard Road in our smart Number 1 uniforms amidst throngs of curious on-lookers. As for me, my very first COG experience is definitely something I’ll find hard to forget, given the pressure of the preparations for it (first COG and I’m playing the snare drum.. (God! Have to memorise so many new marches!!) and also the funny incidents along the way. (Chenguo lost all his March cards… and even his shoe!! Bwahaha~!) Of course there were stressful and trying times when minor conflicts arose, due to the need to perform to expectations, the differing approaches to doing things, the tight time constraints etc, but all these are what make life in band interesting. Unlike my previous stint in MDC, everything was just such a bore. All the shows and dining-in and whatever were hardly interesting. (I was literally stoning thru all of them..) =P

Met up with the CO peeps again, after such a loooong time. Was back in HC to watch their last rehearsal just before the SYF, which is on the 3^rd of May. Was very touched to see the whole lot of juniors working so hard, all with the same conviction of getting that Gold with Honours. Gave the percussion section some advice and its great to see them really giving their best to improve their performance in whatever way possible.

Was there at Singapore Conference Hall (SCH) to support them again on the actual day, given that I’m on off. Must say it was quite a drama the whole day thru.

Initially, I was supposed to meet them all in Hwachong, but becos of the stoopid 157 bus I was in, I din make it on time. Stupid driver was driving so damn slowly dat he took all of half an hour just to drive from Bukit Batok to Bukit Timah Market, where he finally decides the bus has broken down! Argh~! I mean, shdn’t you try to drive at a normal pace instead of that snail-like pace?? (No offense to you, Sugui) And, for goodness sake, dun let more people on board if you suspect the bus is breaking down! And he din even seem to noe wat to do when angry commuters tried to get off the bus, even before he declares the bus to have broken down. Neither did he give clear instructions or explanation on wat the heck was going on. He seemed even reluctant to let people off! Gawd!! He din give out the complimentary bus tickets or even cancel the last trip when he declares the bus to have broken down!! Wat nonsense! But I was in too much of a hurry to give a damn. Wat luck!

Rushed down to SCH to pass the juniors the stuff I bought for them to use for the competition. (Anti-slip placemats to minimise unnecessary sound while switching between auxiliary percussion instruments) Thank god I made it in time, if not, I’m really going to make sure that stupid driver get it from me.

Watched NJ perform in the concert hall itself when suddenly, Pehling called. “Where are you? I need help!” I was thinking along the lines of someone from our team having fainted and in dire need to be revived or something. Turns out she just needed someone to help carry the loads of juniors’ barang barang. Kaoz~! We looked like 2 anxious parents watching kids compete when we scurried across the front of the stage with loads of their kiddie stuff lar~!

Watched Hwachong perform at the extreme right of the first row instead. Wasn’t really a nice spot to be in, given dat the 2 double bassists are basically all that I can see le. But it was still quite an experience. Initially didn’t felt much, just listening to them… it was only when I turned around and saw that glint in Pehling’s eye, the brows that were locked in perpetual apprehension and the cold sweat on her forehead dat I realised just how much this means to each and everyone of them. The teachers, the students and Wei… It was den dat I felt fidgety too… with butterflies in my tummy, so to speak. (How apt.)

Wasn’t their best performance, I must say. Glitches occurred where everyone least expected, and some of which are pretty obvious. But still, overall it was a wonderful attempt, given that <<梦蝶>> is pretty ‘alternative’ in the CO context, and technically, more challenging then the pieces put forth by the other schools. Thankfully the judges are in favor of more subtle, subdued pieces over the loud, majestic ones.

The eventual results were extremely gratifying. Hwachong emerged Champion as the only junior college that was awarded Gold with Honours. As expected, the kids were jubilant, seeing their weeks of hard work and efforts paying off. The complete results for SYF 2005 Central Judging - Chinese Orchestra (Junior Colleges / Centralised Institute) are as follow:

GOLD with Honours:

Hwa Chong Institution (College)

GOLD:

National Junior College
Victoria Junior College
Temasek Junior College
Raffles Junior College
Anderson Junior College

SILVER:

Anglo-Chinese Junior College
Jurong Junior College
Nanyang Junior College
Meridien Junior College
Tampines Junior College

BRONZE:

St Andrew’s Junior College
Yishun Junior College
Pioneer Junior College

Glad to have finished listening to 1 song 14 times in a day, (dat stupid set piece) and joined in the post-competition celebrations with the kids. Ha~

realisation

2005-04-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

Was on my way back home on the train yesterday, plugged in to my mp3s in my phone. As I was listening to a particularly touching sad song, my eyes fell upon a wrapped package dat someone seated infront of me was holding. All over the wrapping were the words "Missing You" with a fine print of a poem dat I had trouble making out from my distance. In my mind, I was wondering how coincidental it is for the words to appear just as the sad song played.

The packaging, rectangular and flat, somewhat resembled a picture frame or something along dat line. It was den dat the shaky pair of hands holding onto the package caught my attention. I looked up to see this lone man in his forties, looking somewhat grieved, staring into the distant, occasionally using his shaky hand to push up the thick rimmed spectacles dat he was wearing. I took a closer look, only to see that the man has obviously cried just a while ago, and that he seems to be trying to hold back his tears from his already teary eyes.

It was den dat my mp3 abruptly stopped, hp, dead. A realisation struck me.

Somehow, I just felt really sorry for the man, though I dun really have an idea wat he's really thinking or feeling at that instance. I felt the need for me to go forward and put my hand on his shoulder, and maybe utter a few words of encouragement. But I held back. I'm not really sure if the situation is wat I picture it to be. And I'm also not sure whether the man in question wants any attention at all. And so, I did nothing.

Just as I was alighting at my stop, I went past him, seeing the side of package dat's facing toward him. I saw for that brief moment dat the wrapping on dat side was torn at some parts, exposing parts of a black and white portrait. And as I alighted, the man was fumbling thru the torn portions and looking at the content of the package.. and returning to stare into the distance.. but this time, I saw him wipe a tear off his eye.

In my heart, I cried.

back again

2005-04-11T22:03:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. it seems like eons since I last blogged.. ha.. (2 weeks plus to be exact) but seriously.. it felt like it's damn long ago.

Now dat I've been back in SAF Bands for 2 weeks plus le, finally have the time to sit down and blog. 2 weeks, and I seriously feel pretty much settled down and gotten used to the lifestyle in Bands. Initially thought I'll probably take some time to adjust back to the more regimental life of Bands, having slacked in MDC for like, 2+ months? But somehow, I now feel pretty much at home in SAF Band B le... haha~ And of cos, I have made lotsa new friends along the way~! :)

Looking back, I have already been through 1 major OCS parade and 2 smaller Guards of Honor (GOH) parades.. Not really anything impressive, but at least till now, I dun see wat's so dreary about parades. Maybe it's becos I believe in and practise wat the RSM of PROVOS unit once said: "You got to feel proud of yourself and you'll naturally look smart and feel good." Maybe dat's why I dun dread parades, ha~ Nor do I feel it's really damn xiong. You just got to feel good doing it, cos 'It's all in the mind', I guess.. ;)

Bands life aside, my personal life is also pretty happening recently. Just finished designing the poster for Braddell Heights CO's upcoming concert in July, and will have to follow up soon with the ticket design.. and ultimately the programme booklet in time to come. Quite taxing actually, given the very tight time constraints and the extremely packed schedule dat I have in Bands. It took me many sleepless nights, amidst days spent falling-in damn early for parades (6am?) to accomplish this. But still, luckily I managed to pull it off and completed a design dat at least I'm quite proud of. Here's a scaled down version, and do tag me ur comments:

Must say this poster is one dat I put in the most effort so far, given dat I actually went so far as to borrow a powerful camera from Hansheng (thanks a million, bro!), get a model and also arrange for a photo shoot will the minimal equipments available. Ha.. must say it's quite a bold attempt to use a close-up shot of a person's face on the poster, knowing dat this will definitely put both my photography and photo-editing skills very much to the test. Met with quite a bit of obstacles along the way, but subsequently also learnt a lot. And I must say this is the most tedious poster that I've done so far, but also one dat I'm most proud of so far.. :) Some things can only be learnt thru experience, and I'm very grateful for being given the chance to experiment and create.

With this, I'll have to continue working on the tickets and programme booklets. Hope everything will be more smooth-sailing now.. *prays* Wish me luck guys~

Firsts

2005-04-03T00:14:00.000+08:00

K.. haven't been bloggin since my Big Day. Ha.. For the benefits of those who didn't know, I have officially been posted back to SAF Bands as of 28th Mar 2005. Hooray~!! =)

As of now, I'm officially a bandsman from SAF Band B!! Real glad the storm's finally blown over after 4 grueling months. It's about time! Right now, I couldn't be any happier. =D

These few days had been quite rather tiring ever since my posting back to Bands, due to my participation in the OCS Commissioning Parade, which is considered one of the major parades. My schedule's been packed daily with rehearsals after rehearsals since the 2nd day I got back (K.. I slacked for day 1. But dat's becos my Band left for parade rehearsals le. And I went running with Hans and wat's-his-name? around the camp lor..) For the records, it's my very first parade ('virgin parade', as wat a senior said) and I must say, I did feel a li' nervous initially before the actual parade commence. But once the drum major's mace shot up into the air, everything else went like clockwork. The hours spent on parade rehearsals didn't go to waste and all the anxiety was forgotten. Though I can't say there wasn't a single glitch, but I sure hope I didn't do too badly for a first-timer.. =p And that's with my sincerest thanks to people who have helped me out along the way by guiding me, people like Tianyou, Hanrong, Jeffrey, Hannasfi etc.. A big thank you to you guys! :)

Quite tired now.. will have to sign off here. *Yawns, rub eyes*

Will try and update more regularly~

Brand New Day

2005-03-22T21:17:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. A Brand New Day.

No, not the song by Sting. But a brand new day for me, in many, many ways.

First of all, I have finally reformatted my com and cleared it of its cluttered mess. This despite many unforeseen delays on the way. First up, Installers are either screwed or missing (after loaning out to people who dun have a habit of NOT returning?) Took me considerable time and effort to gather all required Installers.. sheese.. Next, after the first reformat, my com is subjected to a unprecedented violent attack of viruses, adwares and wat-not. 256 infections found in ONE scan. Nice. Decided to reformat again, rather den fix it. And hence, more delays. But nevertheless, all's over. Now I have a brand new com, in a way.

Bought a new phone, Motorola E398. Brand new phone, no doubt. But I'm not exactly pleased. Sure, it boasted of many new features dat my old Nokia 6510 can only drool at, but heck, it's one tough phone to use. The message part is the most annoying. If you are one of the few unfortunate souls out there who either got a msg dat got axed rite in the middle, or one dat seems to take forever to ever get over, you now know why. And it's supposed to be a damn cool mp3 player, but wait, I can't save files on the memory card provided. Great.. nice white elephant. And bluetooth? Bite me. It can't even detect other phones with bluetooth on. (God, keep me sane!) For the record, upgrading the software does no good. (And the staff at Motorola's doesn't even know how to operate the damn thing!)

Coming Monday, 28th March 2005.
Yes, all important day for me.
Finally, the big day is coming.

The real, Brand New Day.

I await the arrival of that day.

sibelius

2005-03-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

Finally learned how to use the Sibelius software!

Been quite impressed with the colleagues in my unit dat can come up with arrangement after arrangement effortlessly, with just a few hours of clicking in front of the com using the Sibelius software. The software is not only capable of playing out your composition in midi format, it can also be used to arrange complex full orchestra pieces with tones of different instruments, and subsequently auto-generating the scores for individual instruments. Very impressive!

I made up my mind dat I must pick up the software from my peers prior to my posting back to Bands. And so, today I set out on my first Sibelius exercise- to retype the 'Salutes' march card for both snare drum and bass drum.

Apparently, I chose too hard a score to start with. My frens were complaining when I incessantly bombarded them with questions as to how to make the software yield to my bidding. The main problem was that the march card consists of 7 different salutes, each of differing tempos, time signatures, number of bars etc.. and to ensure everything is aligned to each other in a neat and presentable manner, dat is something that's way too advanced for a novice user like me, according to them. However, I managed to overcome the difficulties, after spending almost the entire day trying to figure out the idiosyncrasies of the Sibelius software. Some solutions to my problems dat even my peers couldn't answer were solved after endless hours of 'trial & test'.. and eventually, I managed to pull it off!

Been quite satisfied that at least I din waste my time away, though I'm in possibly one of the slackest unit in the whole of SAF. =P Hope I can make full use of another slack day tml~!

Zhanxin's Com

2005-03-15T19:19:00.000+08:00

Super duper tired!! But also feeling super pleased to have accomplished so many petty tasks within the last 24 hours. Right now as I'm typing, my eyelids are feeling damn heavy and my body is feeling a li' overworked.

Din get anything more den forty winks within the last 24hrs, as I have been summoned to save a hobbit in distress, who apparently bought individual computer components with no idea of how they'll come together. Ha.. though it's tedious work.. and I sacrificed an entire night of peaceful sleep, I nonetheless quite enjoyed the process of assembling the com, as it provided me with another chance for me to hone my skills in assembling a CPU from scratch. Ha, and of course I enjoyed having a hobbit at my beck and call while I try to look busy assembling the unit.. hee hee.. (K.. the maggie mee supper tasted.. errrm.. unique. Maybe I'm just not adjusted to hobbit fare..) And someone owes me a nice treat for dat huh! (Hee hee~ Lemme see.. a movie cum dinner treat shd suffice.. or an all-expenses-paid ktv session?? =p )

Was quite amazed actually, dat other then the initial trouble of getting the NEW motherboard into the darn, accursed OLD OLD OLD casing, and the problems arising from the alignment of PCI slots with the OLD OLD OLD casing's openings, the entire process went on without a as much as a hitch. From the moment where the power switch is flicked on, the process thereafter went on with such ease dat I was left truly amazed. (I thought I'll need like at least 2-3 times to troubleshoot and correct minor wiring errors but there was none!! Lucky me. =)

It was a great morale booster for me and thus greatly increased my confidence in my ability to assemble a com from scratch. Ha.. great dat someone actually dare to entrust me with the fixing up his $700-800 worth of investment, with the prior knowledge dat I have one such experience in com assembly. (K lar.. he was a little paranoid, a little naggy, a little irritating too when he kept asking me to be gentle with the stuff. =p but I was like dat too when Alvin helped me with my com. So all's forgiven. =) Well, at the very least, he din behave like I'm obliged to relieve him of all his technical woes; like I'm his employed technician dat is to be then and there, as and when he feels like it. Talk about being appreciative.

Rushed to camp thereafter when dawn broke and thus began another slack day at camp. (K lar.. I din rush. I took my time even when I'm already running late.) Tested out some interval tuning theory dat I saw in a video on Evelyn Glennie on the timpani.. (She's damn zai! A percussionist dat plays tuned percussion instruments despite she's profoundly deaf!!) Swam with Hans and Nicholas in the camp's pool in the afternoon for roughly 10+ laps. (K lar.. no big deal actually. But considering I din sleep the nite before, it's something. Ha~) Finally tanned my skin a bit and did some physical workout (both which I have not done for ages since my transfer), and had a great conversation with Hans too.. Ha~ And dat basically concludes my day. Damn satisfying. Ha~ At least I din waste my time away.

Friends are not like hotels

2005-03-14T19:40:00.000+08:00

Came across this article while reading the newspaper today. Can't help but agree totally with the writer's point of view.

More often then not, I have had exactly the same feelings as she did, towards certain friends who just seem to take others for granted. But dat doesn't mean dat I think such friends are not worthy of us treasuring the friendship. In fact, I do hope dat somehow or rather, things can take a better turn between me and some of my estranged friends.

Yet somehow, the fear of being the only one putting in the effort to maintain a friendship just makes one wonder if it is all worth the trouble.

It takes 2 hands to clap. Any form of human relationships takes 2 parties to reciprocate before it can blossom or develop. If either party chooses to just take and not give, the relationship is bound to fail. And the same applies for friendship.

The trust and bond between friends take a long time to build up, but a split second of doubt in the sincerity of friends can cause immediate damage to a friendship, dat may even be impossible to mend.

-----========================-----

Friends are not like hotels
You can't just check out of a friendship when you enter into a relationship

By Janice Wong

SHE used to be my classmate.

We shared the same hobbies, borrowed each other's lecture notes and had long telephone conversations.

All that changed when she had a boyfriend. She would cancel our appointments whenever he asked her out.

The first time it happened, I shrugged it off and even squealed in excitement for her.

The second time it happened, I was annoyed but only remarked casually that I seemed to be on her B-list of friends.

The third time it happened, I swore never to ask her out again.

She did not make amends. I guess the growing distance between friends can't be felt when one seems joined at the hip with one's partner and have him as a companion for all of one's activities.

Then, they broke up. She called me in tears at midnight and I consoled her. All was forgiven.

It felt good to put aside petty misgivings and stand steadfastly by a friend in times of adversity. Isn't that what friends are for?

Our friendship resumed. But when she found another man, suddenly, her weekends were reserved again. Whenever I called her, she sounded preoccupied and anxious to get off the phone. Later, she became completely incommunicado.

A year later, I got a call from her; she was distraught. She told me her boyfriend had dumped her and asked that we meet. I declined and ignored her subsequent calls.

I did not say what I was thinking: 'My friendship is not a hotel. You don't walk in and out, as and when you wish.'

No matter how head over heels in love I may be - and no matter how a man's charm may make my hormones rage - it never gets to the point where he takes priority over my close friends.

It's a no-brainer. My friends have proven their mettle and stuck with me through thick and thin, while he has merely entered the picture with goodness-knows-what intentions.

Even if I were married, being with my husband would still not override time spent with my close friends. I know of people who stop seeing certain friends or resort to seeing them on the sly just because their spouses do not approve of them doing so.

A spouse will never be able to support one's emotional needs entirely and he or she has to understand that some of these needs will have to be met outside, by friends.

Friendship brings other problems. As my social circle widens, I find it increasingly difficult to discern who my real friends and fair weather ones are.

I often feel I am invited to parties and sought after as a friend for no other reason than that I am a journalist and can, hopefully, be a means to free publicity.

The more people I know, the lonelier I feel. I am a sentimental soul who prefers the comfort of old friendships which hark back to a time when I was simply Janice, minus the fancy title and trappings.

This is why I am not entirely sure that I did the right thing by quitting that friendship. Was I too demanding? Should I have given her a second chance?

After all, we really got along and it was not like she committed something treacherous like cheating me of my money, betraying a secret or stealing my boyfriend.

Still, I have had enough of being taken for granted. Being single and available does not mean my time is any less valuable than hers.

When it is consistently a case of one person giving and the other person taking, it is time to take stock of the friendship and, perhaps, call it quits.

Like courtship - or even more so - friendship requires time, effort and reciprocity.

While courting parties can demand commitment of each other directly, the expectations in a friendship are usually implicit, subtle and unsaid, and as a result, more prone to neglect.

You may love your friends very much, but if they don't hear from you for an extended period of time, it's only human nature that they wonder just how much you really care about them.

As the late civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr said: 'In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.'

Don't misunderstand me. Couples who are newly in love are naturally consumed by each other to the exclusion of everything - and everyone - else. I don't begrudge that. I certainly didn't expect my friend to pay as much attention to me as she did when she was single.

I also accept that when life exerts its pressures and one's career picks up pace, some friendships fade away. But I would be happy to rekindle such friendships.

What I bristle at is being relegated to a nobody when romance calls and then being treated like some sort of stop-gap measure when it ends.

So let's take some time out this week to have a drink with a dear old friend, say 'How are you?' and be sincerely interested in finding out how they are.

I have never been so busy or so popular to the extent that I have no time for an old friend.

Nor, I pray, will I ever be so.

-----========================-----

Operation Computer Salvation

2005-03-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

Saturday, 5th March 2005, 1245hrs

Met up with juniors, Tong Kent and Xiangmin, both whom I have yet to see for quite some time le. Ha~ They din change much though, except Xm being notably darker. I expected to see more visible changes, especially for Xm since he's now a recruit. (Where are the muscles?) Those pumping and tekan-ing; 5 BX-es, SOCs and BCCTs maybe just ain't strenuous enough huh? =P

Headed for Sim Lim and hence began 'Operation Computer Salvation (OCS)' codename Erratic Freedom.

As most of you have known, my computer has been subjected to recurrent attacks of erratically hanging itself (pun intended); resulting in me logging on and off Msn and inevitably irritating you guys in the process. =p Spent 104 bucks on a new 80 gig harddisk, with the original intention to backup files for reformatting. Operation met with major setback when even the formatting of new harddisk resulted in premature abortion as the subject, aka Irritating Computer Unit (ICU) ,refuses to cooperate by hanging itself yet again. Operation put on hold as the commander of the operation has got to attend a stoopid compulsory Dinner & Dance, which surprisingly was quite fun. I must emphasize, it's 'QUITE' only. Details for that will have to wait.

Operation resumed at 2300hrs, with me rushing home to rush subject ICU to Samaritan PA's hse. Spent a fruitless nite figuring out and troubleshooting, in attempt to pin point the exact causes of ICU's recurrent attacks of wanting to hang itself. Subject was being dissected, and vital organs being transplanted to see which is failing in the ailing subject. Efforts where in vain and investigations led to the findings that subject was suffering from extremely high fever (CPU temperature ever rising, even reaching shutdown point of 90deg cel), and the CPU fan organ was behaving erratically (rpm ranging from only 2000 to ZERO!!) possibly causing the symptoms noted. Urgent meeting was held with Samaritan PA, Samaritan Boquan and we decided the best course of action is to replace ICU's CPU fan organ. However, due to the lack of donor organ (CPU fan) to bring down ICU's temperature, Operation was once again put on hold.

Sunday, 6th March 2005, ard 1100hrs

ICU was rushed to Medical Hub, SLS (Sim Lim Square) with the help of Samaritan Yanxin, who responded to my desperate calls for help despite her busy schedule. Samaritan Alvin arrived shortly after to aid in the search of a replacement organ (CPU fan). Heading for diagnosis by organs supplier, we were informed that subject's failing CPU fan has already caused irreversible damage to another of ICU's vital organ, the motherboard. Visible swelling in the form of bloated cathodes concludes the findings and we were advised to do an immediate motherboard transplant in order to save ICU's life. Discussion with Samaritan Boquan results in the decision to replace ICU's motherboard.

Life's at stake. Being left with no other alternative, I forked out another 102 bucks on a motherboard and promptly headed home to begin the transplant operation. Due to the lack of experienced specialist surgeons available, and the urgency of the operation, Samaritan Alvin and I, took the risk and performed the transplant operation on our own, even though we had no experience in performing such a major operation. Time ticked by and after hours of cautious hard work, we gingerly completed the operation, with a few calls being made to Samaritan Boquan for help and guidance to carry out the operation. The time came for the final reveal. The power switched activated. We waited. No signs of life. Oh no...

Subjected was immediately operated upon again, to correct the incorrect connections of some of its nerves. (N.B. Not all manuals are entirely trustworthy. We figured out the correct way to link the silly LED wires, PWR Switch and wat not ourselves lor. Either the manual is wrong or the wires are wrongly coloured.) ICU burst into life shortly finally at ard 1800hrs.

However, temperature of ICU CPU is still rising, though the fever has considerably subsided. Samaritan Alvin and I decided that a replacement of ICU's CPU fan was still necessary after all. Having said that, we decided to head back to Medical Hub SLS again to get the replacement organ.

The replacement organ (CPU fan) burnt yet another hole in my already under-nourished wallet, costing me 35bucks. Having gotten the organ, we rushed back to complete the operation. (K lar, we stopped for dinner.. =P ) Organ was transplanted into ICU and this time round, ICU finally came round at abt 2100hrs, with a healthy normal temperature of abt 55deg cel. Wu-hoo! Finally!

Operation Computer Salvation finally came to an end and the mission proved to be a resounding success. Kudos to the Samaritans dat responded to my calls of aid, namely Alvin, PA, Boquan and Yanxin. A big thank you to you guys!!! =) The Operation lasted almost 24hrs and ripped me off a whopping 241bucks in total. (That is still excluding all the expenses on transport and food… sob sob..) But still, at least my financial tool is back, alive and kicking. Let’s hope my com can remain in the pink of health for as long as it possibly can!!~ =D

People

2005-02-24T20:37:00.000+08:00

During a conversation with a friend today, I asked my friend this:

"Have you ever wondered why certain individual can afford to do certain things, dat to majority at large, will definitely put most people off; things dat if you would have done, will definitely have an extremely negative impact on your popularity as an individual; yet when this individual consistently does it, it somehow not only doesn't have any effect on his popularity whatsoever, and people even seem to enjoy his company?"

He nodded his head.

Why izit that certain people just seems to have a way with the crowd?

I detest such people, and I abhor their loathsome behaviors. Period.

Post CNY Shopping

2005-02-22T09:59:00.000+08:00

Hmm... my wallet's bleeding right now as I speak. It has just suffered a brutal attack of being ripped off a bulk of its existence. Was out on deployment at Suntec City last week and had time to do some post CNY shopping, dat's where I chanced upon shops after shops in Marina having Removal Sale... Seems like they're revamping the whole place or sth. Everywhere having signs of 70% off etc.. temptation dat's so hard to resist... Bought a total of 2 tops and 1 bottom from G2000 for abt $75. Thought it's quite a bargain. Ha.. But still, I'll have to tighten my belt for the rest of this month le. Speaking of which, I bought one belt with a reversible buckle at U2 (which means to say the belt can take on 2 looks).. and saved quite a lot becos Jinsen had a discount voucher. =P

Went for a show at PS with Jinsen thereafter. It's a Sunday for goodness sake, and I really wanted to have some form of entertainment before the next mundanely boring week starts. And to think dat I burnt the whole weekend becos of deployments really sux. But still, you'll win some, you'll lose some. More free time equates to weekend being burnt.

Watched Constantine. Hmm... powerful CGIs... Well, it's from the producers dat brought us Matrix rite? Why am I not surprised. It's quite a nice show nonetheless, action packed till the last moment.. But I thot the story's way to fast paced, to the extent dat some scenes lasted for probably 1-2 secs and you'll miss it if you batted an eyelid, or worse, looked down for a moment to open a pack of potato chips like the way I did.. sheese.. Thanks to Daryl whom managed to piece together the whole show without missing any bits, I finally understood the big picture... and realised dat I missed the follow-on after the credits. Double sheese.

Tarot reading

2005-02-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

Hmm... been requested by my Sergeant from BMT (Sgt Garvin) to help him design the Mohawk Company's Logo again for their company t-shirts.. which means to say I may become the only guy in NS who designed company t-shirts for like, TWO batches? Hmm... so weird. Haiz.. real hard to do dat given dat my com keeps restarting now... But still, here's wat I did for him.

K, not sure if it'll look really dat nice on it's own though. Recently bought this Billabong shirt dat I like alot and it has this scribbly design dat goes along with stitches and printed doodles and deconstructed types and wat not. So this logo is quite influenced by dat shirt. Only thing is I can't really execute it as much as I wantedt to, given the short time constraint and the fact dat my com will restart mercilessly when I'm in the middle of my artistic expression. (Real nerve-wracking experience.) This is as good as it gets for now.

----============----

In my extreme boredom, I came across this tarot card thingey somewhere... can't remember if I ripped it from someone's blog or elsewhere on the web. Anyway just for the fun of it, here's the result I got.

http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/thoth/

You are the Hermit card. The Hermit has chosen a
solitary spiritual path. He shines light on his
inner self and, by this means, gains wisdom.
The Hermit's home is the natural world and it
is by being in tune with that world that he
learns the laws of nature and learn how they
operate within himself. His path is a lonely
one as he lives in silence and has for
companionship only his own internal rhythms.
But those crossing his path are touched by his
light and wisdom. Though often alone, he
manages nevertheless to instruct those who meet
him and guides those who chose to follow him on
a path towards enlightenment. Image from The
Aleister Crowley Tarot deck.

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmm... dat's it. I'm bound to be a loner. Nice. Means I get to use this background for my blog FOREVER~

St Valentine's 2005

2005-02-17T23:47:00.000+08:00

14^th Feb 2005, aka St Valentine’s Day..

An utmost cruel invention by whomever this Saint Valentine guy may be. Spent my day in camp rotting as usual, and initially contemplated of catching a movie or something after work, but eventually felt it’s not dat great an idea after all. Probably turn deep green and black with envy (who needs camouflage cream?) looking at those blissfully-in-love couples out there filling up the streets. End up staying home facing a dumb computer dat obstinately refuses to yield. How nice. When will my special someone appear? Haiz…

“ 是不是真的会有个她，在这世界的莫个角落等待着我的出现 ?”

15^th Feb 2005.

As if in a bid to fight those post lonesome V’dae blues, Xun jio-ed the whole gang of us for ktv. Jansen, me, Hans and his gf, Lijun responded to his call and went to the K Box at Lucky Chinatown. Prior to dat, we had a more sumptuous den usual dinner at a hawker centre nearby. Probably becos it’s the 7^th Day of Lunar New Year, we saw a huge crowd lao-ing Yusheng. Ha~ Xun actually suggested we order dat too, but I guess none of us is really into the idea. I mean, 4 lads lao-ing Yusheng in a hawker centre in Chinatown, flanked probably with a bunch of Uncles and Aunties.. ermm…

The ktv session was quite cool. Din really noe why but I actually enjoyed the session a lot. I mean, maybe it’s becos a lot of things have been weighing on my mind for the past few days.. and I guess I really made use of the ktv session to vent all the frustrations out. Haiz… but I noe dat it’s just a placebo thing. Problems will still be problems no matter how hard you sing.

Even though we din eat Yusheng, somehow Hans still had a real bad stomachache. Hmm.. he shd be ok by now le bah~ Ha… Lijun is soooooo sweet. *winks*

The session ended v late, we left at around 12am. Too late to catch public transport le, so Xun suggested going over to his place too, since Jansen is going le. Ha, ate Maggie supper and slept at astounding 2plus am! (I always need a longer time to sleep in unfamiliar places) And thanks to Xun, who generously lent me his pants & tee and stuff too, I din have to rush home and den back to camp again the next day and dat, saved me loads of trouble again. Thanks A LOT dude…

P.S. I have reverted back to my beloved background pic again.. since the festive mood is over. (wasn’t ever there in the first place. I hate CNY…) Anyway, hope I’ll find a reason to change to a chirpier background soon.

CNy

2005-02-13T01:08:00.000+08:00

Hee hee.. leopard can really never change its spots. Was late today again for a gathering at junior's house... Supposed to meet the whole gang of them at 11am at TPY mrt, end up only waking up when they called at 11.30pm. =P (Paiseh guys... Overslept lar.)

Jasmine was kind enough to offer her place for the whole bunch of us.. and end up I was like the only guy with a decent amount of hair... ha. The rest all botak cao-recruits, namely Junyi, Sir Seng, Zaoxiong, Hansheng, Zhixuan, and their friend. Hehe. Was sharing with them my experiences in BMT and listening to their own experiences.. ha~ Den we played mahjong… not bad lar.. quite fun.. except dat I only won ONCE in so many rounds. But not dat bad too lar, cos when I DO win, it’s quite a lot of ‘fan1’s. Heard alot of fresh, juicy gossips from them too… Ooohh.. ahhh.. Hee hee…

Headed straight thereafter for Melvin’s hse for his annual cny gathering. The gang at his place was relatively smaller as compared to previous years, as he wanted to down-size the scale of the event. Attendees include Lynette, Kaiyang, Ping’an and Yingjie. Yucheng was sick lar… tsk tsk. And Jianyun, uncontactable. Quite cool still, cos a smaller grp also meant more interaction for everyone, den noone will get neglected. And as usual, had loads to eat and we chatted abit. Left shortly after cos I reached quite late also lar.. 8pm =X (Mahjong session at Jas’ house lasted too long le.)

So sad, cannot play mahjong or sth with this clique, but still, the gathering felt pretty heart-warming.. at least for once I felt dat we have really changed dat much after all, when put into a familiar setting. The past few gatherings with the clique felt pretty awkward, as if everyone changed a lot… Din really felt comfortable. Maybe becos we were out in public, den everyone behaved in a more matured manner as compared to those days in the past. And becos we are out in public, can only chat and end up hearing exchanges of v cordial and 客套conversations. Felt a bit distant lor, like everyone drifted apart over the years le. But today, the feeling is quite different. Felt like wat it was years ago. Not bad, not bad.

Tml is Sunday, another day to spend.. wonder where to go or wat to do leh. So is the Steamboat dinner at Alvin’s place confirmed? Sugui, stop procrastinating leh. And hmm.. seems like a lot of people jio-ing me to go sing ktv… ha~ Jinsen initially wanted to meet tml to sing ktv… Den gotta abruptly change the plan as his parents wanna go visit relatives. Den Alvin asked, den now Xun… Hmm… We shall see if I really do end up singing ktv in the end. Oh yah hor, Jasmine they all also wanted to go sing ktv sometime later.. Wah, I’m already quite broke le…

Honor IP... yah yah..,

2005-02-10T16:09:00.000+08:00

Never liked CNY... decided to stay home instead and bum around.. and since I have nothing much on hand to do, I have decided to challenge my patience by revamping my blog again on this com-dat-never-tires-of-endless-restarts.

After countless restarts and redos, I have finally updated my layout yet again.
(Think my level of patience shd have risen considerably after this, thanks to my wonderful com. *Phui~*)

Latest layout shd be relatively more cheerful den the previous bah... after numerous feedback dat my prev layout was darn gloomy. Hope you guys like it~ Btw, do drop me comments of wat you guys think ya~ ;)

--==== Ripped Off ====--

Be Original, Honor Intellectual Property... yah yah.. =p

Again ripped his off another friend's blog; who previously ripped it from someone else's blog. This thing must have been ripped xth time.

I'm a Poplar Tree (the Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not
very self confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill
and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity,
great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward
philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Hmm... fairly accurate bah.. see if you guys agree.

Anyway, here the rest:

--================--

Find your birthday and then find your tree. This is really cool and
somewhat accurate, also in line with Celtic astrology.

Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 - Beech Tree

YOUR TREE
Apple Tree (the Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm,
appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile,
adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved,
faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves
children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (the Amition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive,
demanding, does not care for criticism ambitious, intelligent,
talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable,
restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands
attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (the Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its
looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career,
economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable,
splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports,
etc.).

Birch Tree (the inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant,
friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess,
abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very
passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and
content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (the Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt,
likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends
to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined,
often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents,
industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to
make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (the Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive,
well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born
diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard
worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times,
fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (the Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes
what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be
content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love
and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be
satisfied, faithful, quick tempered at times, can be unruly and
careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (the Noble mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes,
modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead
but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions
for others, noble minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (the Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self willed,
honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, loves
life and friends, enjoys children and animals, a social butterfly,
great sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding
hours at work, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (the Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress
poorly, loves anything beautiful, can become depressed at times,
stubborn, tends to care for those close to them as well as helping
strangers, rather modest, hard worker, talented, unselfish, few sexual
relationships, many friends, doesn't want foes, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (the Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very
demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a
lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics,
popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has
a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (the Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks
and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable
as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for
kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual
lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is
never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (the Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life
dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into
good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may
appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to
make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not
always enough time to use them, can
become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times
but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of
imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self
confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many
complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants
to impress.

Oak Tree (the Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong,
unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its
feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (the Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings,
reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant,
cheerful, calm, well developed sense of justice, sensitive,
empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of
sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (the Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace
and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write
poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all,
falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to,
emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (the Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not
very self confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill
and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity,
great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward
philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (the Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted
without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest,
and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste,
artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (the Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of
contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon,
unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility,
difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired,
ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (the Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves
family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic,
loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to
exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is
not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good
intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast
partner; loves to make others laugh

Another Week.... yet again..

2005-02-06T16:53:00.000+08:00

Not a very eventful week... basically working my way, albeit a little slowly, towards my aim of getting out of where I am. Guys, I see a faint glint of hope, just pray for me if you can.

Been out shopping for CNY clothes.. so far only bought a shirt, shoelaces for new shoes (yes, just the army Mizuno dat I bought with credits) , and a hp strap. Haiz.. real hard to find something that you really want when you're faced with both time and financial constraint. But still... haiz.

Hp's been cranky these few days. Auto cut a conversation short by suddenly losing all signals. (Although sometimes I’m glad it did… put an end to a conversation dat I will otherwise find hard to end.) Time to get a new phone man, since my contract is coming to an end in exactly a month's time. Hope I can find a suitable phone dat I wun have to fork out much for... haiz..

And my com... #^%$*! It's been giving me problems like never before. Restarting every now and then, but I gathered the problem lies with my graphics card. Tsk tsk.. looks like I’ll have to spend money again on a new graphics card if my hunch is right. Anyone with any old com dat has a graphics card to spare? Really cannot afford to spend again le.. haiz.

Nice… just realized I ended 3 consecutive paragraphs with a sigh. Will keep with the flow for the fourth~ Haiz…

How true...

2005-02-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

Ripped this again from someone else's blog. Haha... so much for the respect for intellectual property~

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

Think it's fairly accurate with regards my personality, with some exceptions, esp the spendthrift part?? (Ha, Xun and Jansen nod heads in unison.. Enough abt how long I take to decide to buy anything. =p) Weak breathing.. (God, this thing knows I had childhood asthma and recurrent sinusitis!) And pls, not having many children is like, so out of point?? Not even a personality lah~ :D

-----=======================-----

Anyway, here's the rest of the months...

JANUARY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

I need a way out... desperately..

2005-01-29T01:27:00.000+08:00

One hell of a week. Never-ending shows... Imagine being able to reach home only at around midnight for consecutive nights in a week. How fun... (Look, I'm being damn sarcastic here.) I'm definitely not of show-man caliber. I need a way out.. I WILL find a way out.. it's only a matter of time..

____________________________

Wednesday, only day in the week that I wore a smile on my face.
SAF Bands Dinner & Dance... real glad that Terry invited me along.. and sincerely thank him, along with my 61st Batch Trainee buddies, and not forgetting Cecilia~ for the wonderful night I had over at Chevrons.. A big thank you to all of you~

Big thank you to my percussion buddy, aka Gekgoh, for sending me to and fro Chevrons.. =D Ha.. and for stepping into Chevrons with me.. =p I was really hesitant about being there in a SAF Bands function alone, given my present status. Was kinda apprehensive about what others might think of my presence.. but it seemed dat my worries were uncalled for. Snapped a few shots with friends here and the dinner promptly started..

Emcee for the nite, Felicia Chin, boy did she steal the show. She was like, the highlight of the evening.. and outshone even the first ever SAF Bands Idol - Jumarih (Hope I got the spelling correct..) The crowd simply went wild with her appearance.. and it took some time before everyone settled down, to be even able to make out what she's trying to say to the floor.. ha.

The Band Idol thingey.. hmm... thot the participants really put in alot of effort to flaunt their stuff.. except dat their choice of songs.. hmm.. just thot dat some ought to have chosen other songs dat's better suited for their vocals.. Really admired the Kelvin Kong guy... his jazz singing is really quite zai.. ha, nice~

The lucky draw... sheese.. to think I actually won.. I was like having this premonition dat I might have to be drawn into everyone's attention.. and was really jittery during the 1st round of the lucky draw. Was praying damn hard in my mind.. "Please dun call out my name.. please dun.." Prior to 2nd round, was even asking Gekgoh and Mark etc to go on stage on my behalf should my name be read out.. just in case.. Den wat I feared happened. I heard my name being called out by Felicia Chin.. Stunned... not mesmerized by her sweet voice calling my name or watsoever. Just flabbergasted. Great, now the WHOLE floor's attention is being drawn to the intruder of a private function. Dat's seriously wat I felt. Damn..

Instinct took over. I promptly stood up, ran for the stage... hoping to get everything over and done with asap to reduce whatever damage I'm causing.. Too late. The crowd has spoken. The 3-letttered acronym dat I detested most was inevitably being shouted out. I was caught there and then. The searchlight now shines upon the convict trying to hide. I have nowhere to hide. Really wished for a hole to bury myself in den.. or maybe The Ring for me to slip on and disappear outta sight. But alas!

Staring eye to eye with Felicia Chin, instead of taking the rare chance to admire the beauty that's just an arm's stretch away, I was totally lost.. stumped.. speechless.. And she had to ask what the audience is shouting about.. God! I tried my best not to appear flustered.. but I know I did. sheese... I tried to cut my dreadful ordeal onstage short and merely blabbered something which I dun even remember.. and promptly rushed back to my sanctuary among my friends.. god~! Sheese~ Wat the~!! Thot I seriously made a fool outta myself. =S

But after the few minutes ordeal, my mind felt much more at ease, knowing that the worst is already over. The dinner went on and after which, we headed for a karaoke session at the club's ktv lounges.. Not dat good a ktv session though, somehow the atmosphere felt really weird. Maybe becos some still have to report early (7am!!) the next day, and I myself have to report at 9.15am. Or it's becos people started to leave a few at a time.. but either way, we stayed till the place is closed for the nite and promptly headed for home.

Still, it is a nite to remember, and I'm really glad dat I had been given a chance to attend. Thanks guys~!

Hmm... another week gone by..

2005-01-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

Another week passed.. seemingly without much mishaps. Let's hope it's really what it seems..

Juniors who just enlisted booked out for the first time this weekend. Boy, almost all told me they had to go clinics to see doctors over the weekend.. Hmm.. so fast, so sick le. Hope they'll survive BMT in one piece... ha~ Good luck guys.. You can do it~!

Friday is a public holiday... spent 12 hours of my life (somehow it sounds so much longer this way) reformatting Xun's com.. and even helping out in HIS spring cleaning. Boy, cheap labour hor? You owe me one man.. Next Dbl O/Zouk your treat. One hell of an experience. 2nd time reformatting a com and I thot I was a goner when I failed to get the com to boot from his CD-rom drive. Really felt damn bad when we gave up trying at like, 2am? Thot I'm gonna go home having done nothing at all other then delete his existing partition.. Luckily, due to Xun's sudden inspiration of the possible hardware MIS-connections, we dissected our dying patient and after much pondering and discussions, discovered where the problem lies. The crux of the problem lies in the Primary/Secondary IDE connections. We did the necessary switch-over and viola~! Patient Dying Compaq springs back to life, detecting the CD-rom drive after 12 excruciating hours.. and Operation Reformat proceeded smoothly without any other major glitches. Phew~

Sunday, my first show in this hell of a unit. Dining-in shows just suck high time. You sit there and play some cheesy crappy music while diners munch and crunch their way through their god-knows how many course dinner, stopping occasionally to display their sympathy for you by means of an applause. As if feeling like some low-class, cheapskate entertainer is not degrading enough, stealth bombers, aka pesky irritating fat pigeons will put their marksmanship to the test by aiming their motion at you from say, 60-70m overhead. Imagine the impact on you when a pigeon stool plummets from this height and achieves terminal velocity prior to contact. Thank god I wasn’t the pigeons’ target. And I SWEAR that these pigeons aren’t as dim witted as we think they are. They actually DO aim for hapless souls beneath their asses.. and my deepest sympathy goes to the poor pipa guest player, some female cheena teacher, who suffered a mind-scarring attack resulting in a rain of bird stool all over her hair and score and pipa… I tried hard not to laugh le.. seriously.. I swear. But I just couldn’t contain the amusement. =P

Will revamp my blog real soon… once I go get an inspiration of some sort. This layout looks kinda cheesy after a while. Thanks for the encouragement from you guys nonetheless.. ha~ And when I do feel like it, I might considering doing one for you, Xun. Dat is IF I feel like it.. ha.. Bwahahahahaa~

Tata for now~

Revamped

2005-01-16T19:41:00.000+08:00

Well, finally got rid of the disgusting layout... Have been wanting to do it since eons ago but was just too lazy to put my thoughts into actions. Though it's not exactly what I'll consider 'nice', but it shd make do for the moment.

This one is more of an experiment.. as to how the html and stuff works.. quite glad dat I actually managed to pull it off without anyone teaching me~!! Hee hee.. so bhb...

_____________________

Went Dbl O for the 2nd time yesterday, with Jansen, Xun, Iskandar, Mark (n Claire), Terry (n gf). Nothing much happened too, except that this quite 'nap' gal chatted me up when I was getting drinks.. ha.. Shan't elaborate on this episode. (Wanna find out more, just ask me personally.. Hee. ) Other than dat, this time round is not that fun as the first time, I must say, cos the music sux terribly. K, I'm not being whiny here, but I guess the occasional voicing out of such remarks are merely meant as space fillers to fill the void in conversations. People, try not to take every word so seriously, yar?

The nite ended damn early; Terry left way too early with his gf, who's got an early flight the following day, or maybe becos the music is really dat sucky.. The bulk of us left at ard 1plus am (damn early by clubbing standards) and headed for Selegie for prata supper. After dat, Xun drove me and Jansen home.. (Thanks k..) Overall, it's really not dat fun after all.. sianz... abit disappointed, cos I've been pretty looking forward to it to make up for the sucky week dat I've gone thru in camp.

As for wat made up the rest of my sucky week in camp, I shan't say more. Dun really wanna talk abt it as of now. Those who shd know already knew, so, yah... Will update abt it when I feel like it bah.. meanwhile, the rest of you out there, thanks for you concern yah...

_____________________

Well, hope it's not too late for New Year Resolutions now... My first one will be for me to not procrastinate anymore, and be more decisive in whatever I do. Friends closer to me will know exactly wat I'm referring to. No more hesitating and waiting for things to happen.

I will not give up fighting for what I think is best for me. If you are really a friend of mine, support my decision and pray for me... dat's all I ask.

Disappointment...

2005-01-12T20:42:00.000+08:00

路遥知马力,日久见人心。

Really understood the meaning of this phrase now.

Boy do people change fast.

Sad and really disappointed.

=(

Whirlpool

2005-01-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

Sad

Verdict's out.

Do not know if I should just accept it as my fate, or fight for what I want.

It's been hell of a ride, and I just do not wish to have anymore false hopes, only to have them dashed time and again.

Random thoughts...

2005-01-07T21:14:00.000+08:00

You know, Christmas/New Year is the time of the year where your hp goes beep-a-beep with well-wishers... But how many times have you clicked on the keypad of your hp, read 1 or 2 forwarded season's greetings and nonchalantly reached for the delete key.. without batting an eyelid.

Now, come on. You know jolly well who you are.

Being hp users for so long, we all can tell a forwarded msg from the real deal.

This is not to say dat we do not appreciate the effort of the well-wishers who forwarded the msges .. or that I myself never did fall prey to the convenience of forwarding just dat 1-2 great sms. It's just dat, a forwarded msg, more often den not leaves me wondering: how much of the content is really wat the sender wish to convey; and if you, on the receiving end, is really someone dat the sender seriously thought of wishing; or you are merely someone who so happens to be fortunately included in the random list of acquaintances dat exists in the sender's phonebook?

Now, let's all face it. It's nothing more den a mundane, customary social gesture. Dun ask so much.

How to tell you are really going to fall sick.

2005-01-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

Was out today... supposedly to do some post-X'mas shopping and grab some bargains.. ended up having bought nought. Shucks. And imagine the thrill of finding the pair of jeans dat you wanted oh-so badly on sale in Zara, but end up not being able to buy it cos they do not have ur size. How nice.

Worse thing is, you have this nudging feeling dat you are going to fall sick.. next thing you know, you ARE falling sick.

Well, let me educate you on how to tell you are indeed succumbing to the highly disturbing Sinusitis bug.

1. You feel feverish, though it may not register on a thermometer. (Could it be dat SAF issued thermometers just ain't trustworthy?)

2. You have this highly annoying feeling dat ur nose is full of mucus.. and yet try as you might, nothing comes out when you blow ur nose.

3. You smell this pungent smell of socks being waved right before your nose, after having served its master for, say, 1 week? This is despite the fact dat there is really NO smelly socks within the vicinity.

4. Your fingers go dead cold, and even the floor felt so cold to your feet dat it pricks.

5. When you finally do manage to blow your nose, you see thick, viscous, yellowish liquid, which is obviously infectious mucus.. (Firers, watch ur front. Piak!)

6. You feel lethargic.. and ur body aches.

7. You see the only place where you can really feel snug and warm is under, say, 10 blankets and wearing 5 pull-overs all at once.

As of now, I'm expecting more to come in the next couple of hours. Probably a real fever, sore throat, cheeks dat are sensitive to the slightest touch and maybe even a toothache. Talk abt experience. We'll see about dat.

Meanwhile, say tuned for more 'Sickman Does Reporting' in the following days.. if I make it to my keyboard alive.

Wanton Ramblings..

2004-12-27T13:27:00.000+08:00

Damn bored.. Suffering from wat seems like Prolonged Extreme Boredom Syndrome (PEDS)...

So bored dat I shall now tell you guys a story.. in chinese..

在这城市的莫个角落, 有个孤独的影子正对着它的主人说话.

影子问道:" 我跟随在你左右, 观察了你再久不过. 天天见你因害怕孤独而不断的寻找他人和你做伴. 但在他人面前, 你却肃立起一道道厚实的墙, 将自己困在当中, 不愿或不敢坦然的面对墙外等着你的人. 那你找他们做伴的理由又是什么? 在得到了他们的陪伴后, 你却比独自一人更感到孤单, 更感到寂寞. 难道你不厌倦吗? "

主人对着影子说道:" 要是我真的对这问题有个明确答案, 我也不至于在这和你聊天. 或许我知道还有其他人和我一样, 需要我的陪伴, 却也不知道如何真正的和他人真心相对, 找寻能填补内心深处那空虚的良方. 也或许是因为我了解他们的心态吧, 所以愿意陪伴在他们左右, 互相扶持, 永远不求能真正的成为对方的知心朋友. "

这时, 和那主人相约的朋友出现了. 彼此客套地寒暄了几句, 并一同往城市另一个寂寞的角落走去. 影子默默地跟随在主人后头, 轻轻地为主人叹息.

圣诞结... 你能否解得开?

2004-12-25T14:16:00.000+08:00

Christmas Eve 2004

(N.B. This is like the 3rd time I'm trying to blog this entry... My lousy com has been restarting like nobody's business and I have to like, repeatedly type the same entry.. shucks.. Really driving me insane.)

Watched the Christmas Play put up by the folks from City harvest at the Kallang Indoor Stadium with Xun and Sok.. The show was splendid.. and lived up to the expectations yet again.. they never fail to impress with the professionalism in their shows.. That's partly the reason why this is the 2nd time I'm watching their Christmas performance.. : ) Hope Xun enjoyed the show as much as I did.. other den the fact dat it reminds him of Jay Chou concerts? ha..

Initially feared dat either Xun or Sok might feel awkward or bored.. since this is like the first time the 2 actually met.. But I guess everything turned out pretty well.. ha.. At least it seems like the 2 can communicate quite well.. considering they are meeting for the first time.. and the common topic will have to be me.. *roll eyes*.. since I'm like the mutual friend of both. Great.. So now I have the china-man look and I'm quick to react.. ha.. I REBUKE the China-man part k.. but I do admit dat I am, at times, quick to react and thus done the wrong things at the wrong time. Kk.. but I'm really glad I have pals around me dat can point out my flaws out-rightly.. I'll try to change dat k..

Supposed to meet up with Alvin for the Countdown.. but due to the failure of a certain mission of his... the mood just isn't there.. ha.. End up heading for home as soon as we watched a few balloons floating aimlessly up into the endless dark sky.. Hope the balloons will find reach the destination they longed for..

Took NR5 with Sugui.. though NR8 I think... is the one dat goes to my place.. But din mind it one bit.. cos I had one of the most satisfying conversations since quite a long time le. It's amazing how true friends can open up to each other so effortlessly and yet, not feel embarrassed or watsover.. and it felt great to be able to express your innermost thoughts without restraints or inhibitions.. with no fear watsoever of being judged.. And it's through conversations like these dat the tussles of everyday life seems so minute and insignificant.. and dat the solutions to watever problems seemed much more simple and straightforward.

This Christmas, I am really thankful to have such great friends around me.. and I sincerely wish them the best of luck for watever that they may be wishing for...
(I will pray for you too, Sok. Pray for the miracle that is to come.)

A night of wild fun~!

2004-12-19T11:48:00.000+08:00

Sat night, 18th Dec, our Staff Sgts Terry and Cecilia treated us to drinks at Dbl O after receiving their year end bonuses.. and it was indeed a night of unrestrained fun~! It was my first time at serious 'cheong-ing' as the previous encounters at Venom.. which now ceased to exist and is taken over by ChinaBlack.. for the NUS Medicine and Pharmacy Faculties Orientation Bash; and Alley Bar for the Singtel POD Party; and Liquid Room for dat Toni & Guy hair show I did just dun suffice to be categorized as a 'cheong-ing' session.. more of superficial socializing and half-the-time-dunnoe-wat-I'm-doing... I think it's pretty much got to do with the crowd you're in.. ha..

My crowd this time consists of my fellow trainees in Training Wing, 61st Batch (Jansen, Hans, Zhixun, Iskandar, Gekgoh) and of cos, Staff Terry and Cecilia... Sadly, not everyone was present as some couldn't make it.. however, I'm sure those who turned up had a great time and din regret the consequential loss of sleep... ha.. (Rite Hans? I'm sure they'll think you're so sad dat you cried till ur eyes were all swollen at the Central Band Songka on Sunday.. ha)

The night started rather awkwardly.. with us arriving at Dbl O at abt 10+pm.. We headed for this bar next to the actual Dbl O and sat there waiting for Cecilia to arrive.. and we den took turns to LS at the Gents.. ha.. =P Dunnoe wat's the matter with the few of us.. ha... Can't control our bowels due to the overwhelming excitement?? Den there were awkward silences and 你看我,我看你 situations as how Cecilia would have put it.. And I begin to worry dat the whole niter will be just spent like dat.. Thank god it didn't..

When Cecilia arrived, we headed into the main room and boy were we surprised to see dat a huge crowd has already gathered there.. and we hardly have any room to really gather as a group without obstructing the heavy human traffic.. Drank a few mugs of Vodka Ribena and Coke etc and headed for the dance floor.. the music was great and the atmosphere awesome.. at first felt a little awkward (first time wat...) and really wondered how Iskandar can really let himself go and dance with such wild abandon... swaying to the groove and all... den even our 闷骚 Hans started to immerse himself in the wild atmosphere and starting swaying to the music with dat trademark grin of his... ha.. damn funny.. Terry and Gekgoh finally joined us at close to 12am and we just got more and more high.. ha.. the music gets even better den, according to Xun and we downed more mugs of Vodka etc.. ha.. shiok..

There were quite a handful of eye candies and most noticeable is the group of 4 gals and 2 guys.. First of all it was Xun, whom we thought got lucky.. a gal actually approached him and seemingly offered her hp.. and she looked 'nap!' as we put it.. ha.. Den as we were still abuzz with commotion on how lucky he was, the very same girl approached Terry and did the same. We were like "Awwww..." It turned out dat she's drunk and her other 3 females friends were frantically trying to shield her in the crowd.. and 1 of the guys is actually her sister's bf.. who was there to protect the 'damsel' dat's not exactly in distress... yet. ha.. Poor Zhixun.. he must have felt being lifted to cloud nine, den brutally sent hurtling back to earth.. Nvm pal, anyway ur girl-next-door type won't go around offering hp no. one lar.. ha~

Left Dbl O at around 3am... and headed for some 'normal' drinks at a nearby kopitiam before heading for home.. Thanks to Gekgoh who drove, Jansen, Iskandar and I got home swiftly in the comfort of his posh posh Cefiro.. Ha.. THANKS SEXY BOY~! Dat ends the night of great fun.. which I initially doubted would be... ha. Guys, let's do dat again k??

Another Week....

2004-12-17T19:38:00.000+08:00

Well well, it's been a week since my last entry.. and I shall update my close frens abt my dull and uninteresting life.. (Dun say I din tell you guys things liao hor.. Sok and Alvin..)

Looks like I've thought too highly of the efficiency of the SAF... till now, no news of my posting order.. Still a 'wandering ghost' of the White House, but the only difference is I'm getting rather used to this le.. ha.. Not dat bad after all. I get to go anywhere and do anything as I please, follow my friends of various bands around in their routines and get first hand experience of how it feels like in the various Bands.. and listening to juicy first-hand news/gossips/happenings of the SAF Bands from the heart of the White House, the Bands HQ Office... Also, my loads of free time encouraged more casual conversations with the fellow musicians from all the different Bands, and thus I've made quite a number of new frens.. ha.. Wenchao from Band B, Joel from Band A (I think), Sgt Shannon from Central Band, Maja from Band A etc.. Really hope I can stay in Bands now.. cos Bands is really full of fun-loving and whacky people..

Basically, I'm not dat stressed up over the whole posting saga le.. just taking one step at a time.. after many a conversations with the different superiors in Bands (RSM, Training WSM, BSMs ABSMs etc), all encouraged me to pursue my wish to stay in Bands.. and the only thing that I can do now is wait for the return of Band's SDM, Major Teng. And so, knowing what I'm going to do next just make things seem simpler... though there's no guarantee as to what the eventual outcome will be. So guys, pray hard for me...

Just last Sat, Alvin, Sugui, Yanxin and I went cycling at ECP followed by a dinner at the hawker centre there.. den had Rochor Beancurd at Selegie.. And as we were cycling along the chalets of ECP, I was lamenting abt my sudden urge to stay in a chalet... haa.. talking abt how cosy the chalets looked with the warm yellowish glow from the tungsten light bulbs... and smoke rising from bbq pits and families and friends gathering in groups.. chatting, singing, cycling, having loads of fun.. and the next thing I know, hcco is having their chalet! But the sad thing is.. it's on a weekday and I decided against going.. being bogged down by many a practical reason.. the chalet being too darn inaccessible; the time being too late; me having to report to camp the next day etc.. And so I missed a chalet dat I so wanted badly... haiz.. really damn disappointed...

Thursday... went to watch a chinese percussion concert dat I never wanted to watch... Some crappy CO dat is like 90% Ngee Ann people.. WYM called me saying he has lots of tickets and asked me to ask people along.. and I ended up having to beg people to go with me as I din know how to turn him down.. darn it man.. Really hate having to ask favor from others... when it's all for doing another person a favor. Ended up watching it with Weixiang, Qingyu, Zhanxin and Kelvin... of which most are unwilling audiences no doubt.

The performance sux totally, except for the saving grace of this ONE performer.. some guy with a William Hung looking hairdo.. His skills are good and he proved damn proficient in delivering the pieces beside a guest musician from China.. Kudos to him, whoever he is.. But however, din enjoy the overall performance at all.. half the time I was frowning and grimacing in silent suffering.. as the discomforting noises went blasting on and on... The Ngee Ann conductor just ain't interested in balancing the orchestra at all... half the time the deafening noises from the tongqi covered everyone... Or maybe it's just me, and I'm beginning to change my taste in music.. having immersed myself in Bands for the past 2.5 mths.. totally cannot stand the coarse, raw sound of chinese percussion le..

Recently met up with a fren of mine dat I haven't seen for ages.. and got to know things that has happened to this fren through my observations.. really wondered why things had come to this... and was really curious.. but I held back my curiosity and refrained myself from asking. My rationale: If he/she really wants to tell me something, he/she would have told me without me having to ask. If he/she dun wish to tell me, he/she won’t tell me even if I asked. And ultimately, if he/she don't find the need to tell me, den there is no point in me knowing it, since it goes to show dat he/she feels dat it is his/her business and I'm not a friend worthy enough to share this with.

Dat's all for this week. Stay tuned for the next.. if you're still not deterred by the extreme boredom of reading my blog.

The Ride Begins...

2004-12-12T18:58:00.000+08:00

Well well, after what seems like eons, I'm finally back in the blogging thingey...

To be frank, there are times where I logged on to my blog, stared at the empty windows, spent a good ol' half an hour or so, typed in a bunch of nonsense, and finally reached for the Backspace/Delete button... Somehow or rather, I just have this innate feeling dat my wanton ramblings are not worth being published... not worth the time of others to read, or maybe the trivialities of my life will actually bore people to death.. Or maybe I just can't seem to bear to open myself fully... to whoever may be reading this.. to actually open up myself and express my innermost feelings openly... it's not just me.. But today, I will let that be part of history as I truly embrace the cult of Bloggers out there..

Not that I have something dat is extremely worth announcing to the whole wide world happening to me... Maybe just dat I wish to have an outlet to vent the pent up emotions dat I've been feeling lately.. maybe I just feel like opening up with no restraints watsoever.. to break loose... (dat explains my sudden urge to go pubbing and get real drunk.. never tried dat.. and I think I will have a taste of it real soon..)

Having said dat, let's trace the tracks of the roller-coaster ride that formed my week.

3rd Dec, 2004 (Friday)
The day the ride begins.. After the internal examinations of the SAF Bands.. dat includes Music Theory, Aural Perception, Practical and Drills (for which I was exempted), we had our postings announced. The moment dat will decide where we will be for the rest of our NSF life, the moment dat somehow, I wished could be delayed further.. This sense of foreboding just tells me dat watever it is.. I dun really wish to know... maybe just not now... But it can't be helped... and the first wave of frustrations and fear for the unknown came towering over me. Everyone of my fellow band mates knew their fate.. Band A, B or Central.. all except me. PENDING was all I got of my posting. I was left speechless.. I din noe wat to feel... actually, I was pretty much at a loss.. "What is dat supposed to mean?"
Troubled, loss, frustrated, vexed...

To be frank, I do not understand the reasons for my frustrations.. at this point in time, I still did not know where I prefer to be in.. Is it MDC? Everyone seemed to think I'll like it in MDC... cos I'm more inclined to chinese music; cos dat's the field I've been trained in; cos I've performed with them numerous times before; cos I know Major Tay.. but frankly speaking.. something tells me dat I have begin to develop a sense of belonging to Bands.. to the life of a Band musician.. so much so dat if I were to leave now.. I might not be dat happy to.

It's like you were being put in a foster family. Ur initial feelings were dat of resentment... or rejection.. cos you feel awkward, out-of-place... you feel different becos of ur background.. you fear if you can adjust to the totally new environment.. But soon, you learn to accept ur fate.. you try to adjust ur mindset.. you struggle along, coping in the new environment.. sure, you'll have ur fair share of unhappy incidents... misunderstandings... but you learn along the way... you found support from people dat started out as perfect strangers to you.. you finally pulled thru and smile as you look back at yourself back when you just enter the family.. and you just begin to see dat it's not so bad afterall... dat you can actually still be yourself.. and find joy in being part of this foster family.. dat it may not be so different afterall..

4th Dec, 2004 (Saturday)
SAF Bands Sports Day... the venue, Big Splash @ ECP.. the weather wasn't exactly cheerful, but it was quite a fun day nonetheless... Had one of the rare chances to really have fun with my fellow bandmates.. Just as I was beginning to forget all the frustrations of my unknown future, my Training Wing Captain just casually walked up and said "Oh Keith, it's been confirmed. You are to posted to Central Band."

Dumbfounded.

Okaay... so my fate is sealed... and I'm staying in this foster family afterall...

5th Dec, 2004 (Sunday)
Met Zhixun in town to go attend a Training Wing Gathering at Marina Steamboat... Never really liked eating at Marina.. and was a tad anxious.. wondered how the outing will turn out.. esp since Staff Terry and Staff Cecilia are going too.. knowing dat there was some misunderstanding between us previously... But I decided dat I must somehow brave the storm, be it for better or worse.. since it's a misunderstanding den I clear it and face it.

The outing turned out fine... As expected.. the food wasn't really dat fantastic.. but the atmosphere was good.. but not dat fantastic either.. at least it was a small step in a positive direction.. the acrimonious silence slowly tearing away.. Went for a drink at Travis @ Robinson Walk... wld have gone to Zhixun's hse to stay over, if not for the fact dat I had to do up the banner for the Graduation Ceremony on Tue..

6th Dec, 2004 (Monday)
Off-in-lieu, in compensation for the Saturday spent for the Sportsday @ Big Splash.. Even though so, I had to go back to camp, to help out with the finishing touches to the decorations for the studio dat was to be used to hold our Graduation Ceremony for the next day... Was with Zhanxin, Weixiang etc on our way to Zhixuan's hse when I received the call from Gekgo dat sent the next tsunami of frustrations. "Eh, Staff wants me to tell you dat you are not going to Central Band le.. they have posted you to MDC."

Speechless.

Now wat the heck is going on?!? Pissed.. really pissed... just wat the heck are they doing, sending me up and down in a coaster-ride?? Wat the...

7th Dec, 2004 (Tueday)
Graduation. Months of work paid off.. not exactly wat I'll call 'hard work', since I din exactly put in loads of effort.. but still, it's worth celebrating.. but to me.. it's a mixed feeling altogether.. I seriously do not know whether I shd be happy or sad... I just felt very restless.. like I'm being tossed into a great torrential sea.. with waves splashing at me from all directions.. felt suddenly very alone.. very left out.. especially so when everyone got hold of the news dat I'm being posted out to MDC..

Some came congratulating me for being able to where I want to go.. to which I replied with a wry smile.. cos I seriously dun think I feel happy with this news.. certainly 2 mths ago I wld have been jubilant... but not now.. not anymore..

The ceremony... standing there in the ranks of my fellow trainees, I feel a subtle sense of pride.. to be able to go thru the training which seemed to be awfully hard for me(due to my different background training in music).. to be able to make it thru... but looking at the bundles of certificates on the tables, I felt this sudden jab of sorrowness.. all had a SAF Bands' harp badge attached to it.. the symbol of pride of the SAF Bands.. all except mine..

Shaking of hands with the Major also sent me another wave of frustrations.. "Best of luck to you in MDC" was wat Major Teng said as he shook my hand.. which I didn't know how I reacted.. Alot of my friends said dat I show my feelings and emotions too fast with my too quick-to-react facial expressions.. I would love to see wat was dat look on my face.. I can't really recall.. Maybe I blurted out "Thank you Sir" again.. and why did I say dat?

Spent the rest of the day as a lone, wandering soul in the White House, as all my fellow trainees head for the respective bands they have been posted to... Felt very, very alone.. Once Hans poked his head in to the Training Room later on in the day.. to see me alone in there.. trying hard to read a book.. ('trying' becos seriously, I have no mood to read anything at dat point in time).. or was I trying to sleep? can't recall... He din say anything.. but merely smiled. Frankly speaking I was quite touched with dat kind gesture.. such a simple act of merely popping by, but to me, it was invaluable... the smile reminded me dat I'm not forgotten.. I din say anything to him either.. but Hans, if you see this now, I thank you. It was really nice of you.

9th Dec, 2004 (Thursday)
Went back to camp, to report once again as a wandering soul I thot.. Been trying to console myself dat it may not be as bad as I thot.. maybe I'll like it better in MDC? Maybe I shd jsut try to accept fate once again like I did 2 mths ago..

Helped out Staff Terry with his store... together with Gekgo and Jansen.. we had to clear the store of unused metal racks dat are just taking up space and gathering dust.. Seemed like hard work... but it wasn't.. actually it turned out to be quite fun... dismantling them and challenging ourselves by timing how long we take to dismantle 1.. Somehow it provided a chance to get to know Staff Terry a little better.. at a less regimental level.. It sortta tore down the invisible barrier.. the one dat resulted from the misunderstanding... and for once.. I really begin to feel dat I actually like being in this new foster family.. though there might have been misunderstandings.. but we are still a family afterall..

Halfway thru the day, somehow the conversation led to me.. and to my going over to MDC soon.. it was then dat I finally admitted dat I do not wish to go over.. and dat I wld have like to stay at Bands.. Staff Terry seemed rather surprised.. and said I shd have voiced out sooner.. And he called up Captain Chua etc and gave me advice on wat I can do.. and started me along in my quest to request to stay on in Bands.. even to the extend of calling Captain Yusri.. thanks Staff.. thanks.

Later on in the day, we all chatted.. Gekgo, Jansen, Staff Terry, Me, Xun, Iskandar.. and even chatted of plans to go Genting together.. and of the treat to Dbl O on the 18th... and I felt again this tinge of sadness again dat I'm leaving in time to come...

11th Dec, 2004 (Saturday)
Went out with Sugui, Alvin n Yanxin, to ECP to cycle... din want to go at all... considering the rather foul mood I was in... desperately wanted to go drink thru-out the day.. to get myself drunk... but my wish wasn't granted... reach home late and exhausted.. which is just as well.. den I wun end up tossing and turning again in bed, thinking of the impending doom...

Giving it a shot...

2004-11-21T20:02:00.000+08:00

Attempted to get on with blogging today.. tried revamping it.. as my aesthetic sense tells me dat my blog sux at present... meddled here and there abit but still couldn't find my way around in the perplexing world of Blog. Sheese.. just couldn't figure out how this darn thing works.. maybe you guys can enlighten me one of these days?

Anyone going for HCCO Interaction on the 27th Nov? Those interested in going together pls post a comment leh... ( I dunnoe how to put a Tagboard leh.. argh..) Den we'll all go en bloc.. Ha.. It's been quite a while since we've met up in a grp? Hmm... maybe the last time will be TLHY bah.. and dat's like abt 5mths le... Time really flies... ha..

The Beginning of it all...

2004-11-15T10:50:00.000+08:00

Just wanted to correct some lame shit(go figure out who)’s grotesque error involving my very name... ended up creating this blog... Never mind... will post something more meaningful when I feel like it.